Shattered Hearts
by Greye Granger
Summary: Bella knows what it's like to be alone, and when the only person she's ever really loved commits the ultimate betrayal, she turns to the man who's wife has stolen her husband. E/B. RATED M. TATTWARD. BPOV.
1. Chapter 1

**Story By: Beffers87, and Greye Granger**

**Written By: Greye Granger**

**Picinspiration: Beffers87**

**Beta: Jules Twifansox**

**I wouldn't have been able to write this story without Beffers87's awesome help, and I am so grateful to Jules for her epic Beta skills!**

* * *

_Chapter One: Solitude_

Time goes by slowly when you're alone.  
Sometimes I think I'd rather be in a crowded room, feeling alone, rather than by myself and truly alone. At least I would see the people around me that ignored my presence.

Instead, I sat in silence.

Day in, and day out, nothing changed.

My isolation had become my only friend.

They say that loneliness is a choice, and I was inclined to agree with that statement. Of course, if I could change my predicament, would I? I had no idea how to do such a thing. I could go out. Anywhere would be better than sitting in my excessively large house all day until sleep was acceptable. But where would I go, and who would I see? I wasn't as social as I once was. All of that, out there, was unknown territory, so at least my loneliness was familiar.

If you're caught sleeping in the middle of the day for long periods of time, people start to talk. The first time someone called me depressed, I laughed. It felt good to laugh, especially at something so absurd. Although, as more lonely days passed, I feared the newfound truth of my predicament.

My computer screen was screaming at me. At least in my seclusion from the outside world, it was never quiet. The blank word document mocked me to no end, too. I couldn't shut the document up: not until I gave it what it wanted. Words only came to me at their own leisure, they paid no mind to my begging for them.

Trying to be a writer when you never know what to write about, was like a professional ballet dancer that had never danced a day in her life. It was unknown, and it was shameful, but I tried anyway. One day I knew the floodgates would open, and I would never be able to stop typing on the nearly brand new keyboard of my Macbook.

A small sigh escaped my lips. I grabbed my clear glass from the oakwood desktop and brought it to my mouth. I hesitated briefly, then threw back more vodka. It was the only thing that kept me alert now. It burned each time it hit my throat, awakening me anew.

Writing takes patience. It takes all of your mind and soul. But how was one supposed to write about love? No author in the history of writing could answer that question. All they can say is, "What you feel, is what you write." I didn't feel love, therefore, I could never write it. I could write about despair, but who wants to read about that?

I should be able to feel love, but it only angered me to know and admit that I didn't; that it had been so long since I had felt it; too long ago to recall. And loving myself would never be enough, because I was one of 'those' women. Everyone knows a woman like me. I may be cold, I may be sad, but at least I knew what love was. I had experienced the real thing. I thrived for it. In fact, I even searched for it, and took whatever I could find. But only when I met my husband did I succeed in my searching.  
My new life with Jacob was everything I had wanted it to be at such a young age, plus more. I couldn't recall when that happy fairy tale had faded into the wind. All of the love I had ever felt from him vanished without a trace. One day, we stopped talking about our dreams, we stopped touching each other in a sensual way, and my heart began to grow as cold as ice. It was pathetic how much I once needed him; but now, I was so used to being alone, that I couldn't tell the difference. I still yearned for my heart though, and when it left me, it took my soul along with it.

Just like all else in this life, it left me to myself.

Which is where I am now.

Alone.

As my eyes glanced out my bay window, they saw the ocean waves roaring. The end of spring was bringing in many storms. The ocean loved it, though; it was a chance for her to come alive. She could sing, move, and cry as loudly as she wished.

I was jealous of her.

The clock on my computer read half past four. My husband would be home soon. He was never a minute late without a phone call, an hour before to tell me so. His routine was my entire life. It was an endless circle, and I never stepped out of it. Instead, I moved with it. It was much easier for him, and for me. Besides, what else was there to do?

I didn't cook. Jacob knew that long before he married me. In high school, he promised to hire a cook one day: a cook that would deliver gourmet meals each night by five o'clock and no later. He kept his promise. Bethany was a great cook. She was young, vibrant, and studied at the University, majoring in the Culinary Arts. She would no doubt manage her very own five star restaurant someday.

She was kind to me, too.

With one more look to my computer screen, I groaned and closed it. Nothing would be written today. I would try again tomorrow. My circular routine would stay the same. The doorbell rang. Bethany promised Chicken Parmesan tonight.

It was my husband's favorite.

* * *

Jogging down my grand staircase, my cell phone rang from my back pocket. I pulled it out just as I opened the front door. Bethany smiled at me, her short brown hair was straight, and she had it pulled back with a yellow headband. I waved her in and answered my phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Hun."

I sighed," Hi."

"Listen, something came up again. The firm needs me back in Florida." My stomach dropped. I stepped into the den that was attached to the foyer and ran a hand through my long unkempt hair.

"Again, Jake?"

"Yeah, sorry. It'll only be four days, though."

"Four?" I choked. "But my birthday is Sunday."

"Shit," He cursed.

"You forgot." It wasn't a question. I knew him too well.  
"You know how much I suck at remembering dates, Bella. I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"All right."

"Hey, cheer up, four days will fly by. Lets go out on the boat when I get back, yeah?"

I smiled, "Okay. Be careful."

"Will do. I'll call you tomorrow."

"I love you," I said. He paused. I heard him answer what I assumed was a colleague's question. It was a woman, but it didn't sound like his assistant. He had mentioned a new partner, though. A cold sweat broke across my forehead.

He needed to reply to me.

"Jake," I said.

"Huh? Yeah, sorry. Love you, too."

Our call ended.

I stayed still with my iPhone still pressed against my ear. At least he said it back. When I thought of the next four days, my shoulders dropped. If only he knew how long those simple days would be for me.

Furthermore, it was only Thursday, so Jacob's return home on Monday would never come to me. I slowly made my way into the kitchen where Bethany was digging around in the top cupboard.

"Shit, I forgot oregano!" she fumed. I giggled and came up to the island counter in the middle of the large kitchen. I placed my phone down in front of me.

"That's all right. Jacob has to go to Florida again. He leaves tonight." Bethany's shoulders fell.

"Oh, well that sucks. I don't like it when you have to be alone."

I blushed, then shrugged. "At least it saves our oregano problem." Bethany grinned.

"What can I make you?"

"Oh, nothing," I replied, waving a hand through the air dismissively.

"No, no. I insist! It's what you pay me to do." I thought in silence for a moment.

"Tuna melt?"  
"Sounds great. I'll make two." I smiled, glad that she was staying to eat with me.

* * *

Bethany was an easy person to talk to, she kept things light and happy. It was a drastic, and much appreciated turnaround from my daily conversations. She was a busy girl with a fabulous social life. I listened intently to every story she ever told me. I fed off of it like a soap opera. We talked all throughout our meal, but then, just after finishing our tuna melts, she grew quiet. We sipped more of our wine coolers. It was strange to see this serious side of her.

"What is it?" I hedged. Her hazel eyes looked to mine. They were forlorn.  
"So, Derek and me..."

"Yeah?" Bethany and Derek had been dating since her freshman year at college. They were in love, and it was my favorite topic of discussion.

"He's been cheating on me," she whispered, making my throat tighten.

"Oh?"

"Sadly, I don't really care. We're so perfect together in every aspect. I think it makes us bored being this perfect together. In fact, I've sort of started talking to this other guy, too. Jared." She hung her head low. It took me a moment to gather my thoughts. Her admission threw my mind in a frenzy.

"Uh," I stuttered.

Bethany threw her arms in the air frantically. "I know, I know!" she wailed. "I'm terrible."

"No," I said uncertainly. She was though, wasn't she? I didn't know for sure. I'd never had the thought of cheating on my husband. The thought would never even get within a hundred feet of my brain. "I mean, do you really like this other guy?"

"Yeah. No. I mean... sort of. The sex is amazing, though."

I blushed and covered my mouth with my free hand. "Oh!" I gasped between fingers. I removed my hand and chugged more alcohol. "Better than with Derek?" I asked curiously. I was intrigued now.

"Yes! Derek only makes love. It's always soft and slow. But Jared, God," she sighed, reminiscing. "It's passion!" I nodded absently. Jealousy and longing fought against each other deep within me. Sex was nothing to me. I feared that I couldn't even remember how to do it.

"So which do you think is better?" she asked. My eyes shot back to hers. She wanted advice from me? That was something to laugh about. I had never had passion-filled sex. I wasn't sure if I had even made slow, sweet love. There was a time when sex was all Jacob and I did, but was it even worth mentioning? Or remembering? Again, I wasn't sure.

I tapped my chin, "I guess you need to decide which you like best. Which one you can't live without." Bethany frowned.

"Neither," she finally said. Her frown deepened, and I tilted my head at her. She finally looked over to me.

"Guess I can't have both, huh? Fuck, what have I done?" she groaned, and I gave her a small smile.

We decided that we definitely needed to drink more.

"What would you do?" she asked suddenly. I nearly choked on my drink. Bethany giggled. I leaned back into the white, wooden chair that I was sitting in and thought hard. My forearms rested on my thighs while my hands held the neck of my bottle.

"Bella?" she asked. I looked up at her.

She needed an answer.

"I was trying to put myself in Derek's shoes, and think about how I would feel finding out, but I forgot that he's cheating, too. You're in a tough spot, sweetie. You'll need to pick one soon, though."

"Yeah, you're right," she said glumly. Her hair slid onto her cheeks. I took notice of her black shirt, and how the back of it was sheer lace. You could see her pink bra. Was that popular now? She wore it with short white shorts and black strappy sandals. Her short legs were so tan.

"Would you leave Jacob if he cheated?" That was somehow an even harder question for me to answer. I wanted to scream yes immediately, but my loneliness stopped me. The suspicions that I already had of him committing adultery flooded back to me. It was a strong flood, knocking over everything in its way; it left nothing but sadness in its wake. I was choosing to stay. At least my suspicions weren't proven true...

Yet.

"I don't know," I whispered. "I do know that people move past it after therapy, but for me, I'm not sure I would ever gain back the lost trust." Bethany sighed. "I'm sorry," I told her, chuckling lightly. "I'm not much help."

"No, no. It felt good just to talk about it all. I've gotta get back to campus, though. I'll see you tomorrow?"

I shook my head. "Take a long weekend, and come back Monday." She smiled and stood up.

"You sure?"

"Absolutely. I'll be fine, and I'll still eat without you. Go!"

Bethany hugged my neck, and then she was gone.

In her absence, there was just the silence.

My solitude had returned to drown me once again.

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed this! I will be updating this new story on Wednesday's, and Saturday's, so keep an eye out! :D**


	2. Chapter 2: Suspicions

_Chapter Two: Suspicions_

Friday morning brought nothing with it. I wasn't sure what I was waiting on, but I decided to begin my routine anyway while it was still early. I had coffee next to my laptop, and my bay windows open again. The ocean had had her fun, and now she was sleeping.

Palm trees blew in the wind. They had a different look than the west coast palms, but they were my favorite. Jacob used to compare me to them; tall, gangly, and crazy hair. I wasn't that tall, but I was gangly. Most people called me too thin, but it was how I had always been. And my hair was wild. It was different shades of auburn, and too long in length, but it was my favorite feature. That, and my legs. They were long and porcelain.

Freckles dusted my skin lightly. They matched the deep brown color of my eyes. I was as flat chested as a twelve year old boy, but somehow managed to keep a decent sized ass. Good thing Jacob never complained. He joked, though. The more I thought about my missing husband, the more curious I became.

We didn't really know each other anymore. Or maybe, we just knew each other too well. We were perfect in every aspect, much like Bethany and Derek, only our perfection was always seen behind glass: untouchable. I sighed and pushed away the past that led me here. Instead, I wondered more about infidelity.

Why do people cheat? I never saw the point of staying with one, when you want another. Maybe some people get off on that. Maybe some people love their spouses, but lack that one thing they desperately crave, whether it be good sex, love, passion, or companionship. But, did that make it any less wrong? I wondered about it all for a long time.

And what about the people who stay in a relationship where their partner is unfaithful? Why do we stick around? Do we stay out of weakness? Maybe we do because of our own obsession. As hard as I tried, I couldn't imagine a life without Jacob. He's all I've ever known. But then again, did I want to play this part? What you don't know doesn't hurt you right? Except, what if you're suspicious? I realized, through all my thinking, that I did, in fact, want to know the truth.

The truth would hurt me, surely. That's not why I wanted to know, though. I felt I needed to know if my husband was having an affair, because I needed to find out why. What was I not giving him enough of when he had my entire existence? Suddenly, I sprang from my desk and bolted out of my small office. Jacob's office was just across the hall. I never went in there. It wasn't that I was not allowed, I just didn't. And he was never quick to invite me in either.

Now my curiosity was overwhelming me. I pushed through the heavy door and emerged into my husband's office. It was messy. Paperwork littered the large desk and the floor around it. I frowned and stepped over the scattered papers. I took a seat in his large leather chair and contemplated what to do next.

Actually, there was a war going on within myself.

"What am I doing?" I whispered to no one. I frowned and stood up. Before turning to leave, my eyes caught sight of something poking out of his desk drawer. I grabbed the paperwork. I examined it closely. A receipt for plane tickets to Florida for a Mr. and Mrs. Black. My heart lifted for a moment. A surprise vacation?

Then, my heart fell to the floor along with my jaw. The plane tickets were dated for a month ago. I've never been to Florida. I began to hyperventilate. I sat down in the leather chair and tried to catch my breath. Then, my eyes skimmed further down the page. Tanya Black. I coughed and my stomach grew nauseous. I dropped the receipt and ran from the office, slamming the door behind me.

* * *

After crying myself to sleep, I awoke two hours later. It was only eleven in the morning. I groaned and wished it were later so that I could go back to sleep. I sat up on the sofa in my office and yawned. My chest began to ache, reminding me all over again of my new predicament. At least it was something new, right? I shook my head.

Now that I knew the truth, I needed to figure out what to do with it. First, I wanted to know more about Jacob's new law partner, Tanya. She'd started working there almost five months ago. Had the affair been going on that long? I shuddered. Was she prettier than me? Does she like swimming? Is she from Charleston, South Carolina like me and Jacob? I didn't know.

I did know where to start, though. I grabbed my iPhone from my desk and dialed Jacob's work number. His secretary, an elderly woman who I adored, picked up immediately.

"Black and Associates" she addressed.

"Wanda, hi. It's Bella."

"Ah, good morning Mrs. Black. What can I help you with?"

"Oh, uh, Jacob's new partner..." I was stumbling over my words. Would she be able to hear my nervousness?

"Mrs. Masen?"

"Mrs? I didn't know she was married." My head began to spin.

"I believe she is. Tanya is a nice young woman." I frowned.

"Sure. I need her address, please. I, uh... have a gift basket I would like to deliver personally. You know, to welcome her into the firm."

"How kind of you. I'll get it." I beamed mischievously, and wrote down Tanya's address.

* * *

Without throwing much effort into my appearance, I left my house and drove downtown in my Volvo. I slowed after turning on the street I was looking for. I studied each house number I passed, then spotted the correct one. I parallel parked two doors down and studied the brownstone. It was a nice neighborhood.

Most of the townhomes were luxurious, including Tanya's. It had sapphire colored shutters and a bright red door. It matched the brickwork of the building. It was large. Too large for two people, much like my home was. Did she and her husband have kids? I would grow even more jealous if they did. My mind jumped subjects to Mr. Masen. Was he as sad and pathetic as I was? Maybe he was having his own affair, too. Although, it was also possible he was incredibly happy with his cheating wife and didn't suspect a thing. I chuckled to myself.

Then, a shiny, black Jeep Wrangler flew by me. I jumped in surprise. It parked three cars ahead of me on the right side of the street. I hunkered down in my seat, not wanting to be seen by anyone. I peered over my steering wheel and caught sight of wild copper hair. I raised up slightly. A tall man walked across the street. He was frumpy looking and carried two small bags in one hand.

I was frozen stiff as I watched who I now realized was Mr. Masen skip up his steps to Tanya's bright red door. He stuck a key in the lock, and then he was gone. I wasn't sure why, especially since I only saw the back of his head, but he didn't seem like the lawyer type. Although, he could be, since I didn't even know what Tanya looked like.

My cell phone rang from the center console. I jumped again and grabbed it quickly.

"Hello?" I said breathless.

"Hey, babe," Jacob replied happily. My jaw was clenching from my sensitive nerves. I had to keep my anger under control. After all, I still didn't know if he was actually sleeping with her.

"Hi. Make it to Orlando safely?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah. I've been in court all mornin.'"

"Ah." There was an awkward pause.

"Well, good luck." I added.

"Thanks, babe. I'll call you later.

"Uh-uh." He hung up. I realized then that this was how he always acted over the phone when he was away. He called to "check in" but he was always preoccupied. I shivered. My phone rang again.

"Yes?" I nearly snapped.

"What the fuck? Are we still meeting for lunch or what?" My best friend sneered. My eyes shot open and I sat up abruptly.

"Oh, God! Rosalie, I'm so sorry. I'm on my way. Ten minutes tops," I said. She laughed and hung up. I pulled out of my spot, glanced one more time over at the Masens' town home, and then sped past it. I tried desperately to leave my new problems with it.

* * *

The Shore Line Shack was a regular spot for me and my best friend. We ate lunch there together every Friday. She kept me young, even though she was my age, too. Twenty-seven is still young, but not like we wanted it to be. Rosalie Hale was from California. She moved out here for a southern boy, and when that didn't work out, she stayed for me. And for her work of course. Rosalie owned a clothing boutique uptown and did well for herself.

I didn't even have to speak to the hostess to ask for my party's name. I spotted Rosalie out on the lanai sipping on a martini. I smiled my first genuine smile all day and skipped over to her. Her short, platinum blonde hair swayed when she turned to look at me. My brown eyes met her blue, and we shared a smile.

"Fucking finally," she said with an eye roll. I sat down across from her. She cussed worse than a sailor. It was definitely something I had to get used to. Jacob used to tell me that Rose was a bad influence on my mouth anytime I uttered a swear word. She's infectious in all ways.

"Yeah, yeah," I said dismissively. "I'm late once in years and you pop a gasket."

"Yeah, well, it was weird. What were you doing anyway?" I swallowed hard. Luckily, a waitress showed up just in time to save me.

"A refill for me," Rose said.

"Screw driver, please," I told the teenage girl. "Oh, and some celery with ranch." She nodded and scooted off to fetch my order. Rose and I had lunch every week, but we very rarely ordered any food.

"Shit, don't eat too much Bella," Rose teased. I rolled my eyes. "So how's work?"

She sighed. "Fine. This new girl I hired doesn't know dick about fashion. Bella, she comes in wearing pink Louis Vuitton's, camouflage cargo pants, and a Hanson t-shirt that I swear is older than she is."

I cringed, "Good grief. Sounds sort of like Bethany. Maybe dressing like you just don't give a shit is the new thing."

"Over my dead body, it is," she argued. I laughed. Rose sat like a french model across from me. She was tall and thin, but had meat in all the right places. Her large breasts nearly broke free from her tight yellow camisole. She had black capri's and red pumps on with it.

In comparison, from afar, you wouldn't think we would have anything common to discuss. I wore ratty old jean shorts, ancient Converse and a white tank top with a coffee stain. Jacob's family despised my carefree style. I never dressed this way around them, though. It was fine dresses and white sandals around the Blacks. Our waitress returned with my drink and celery. I thanked her and sipped my cold beverage.

"Well?" Rose asked with raised eyebrows.

"Well what?" I replied through sips of alcohol.

"What the fuck were you doing?"

"Oh," I coughed. "Uh."

"Writing? God, is it coming along now?" My shoulders dropped. Oh, how I wished it were that. I hung my head in shame.

"No, it wasn't that."

"My bad. Hey, don't worry. It'll come to you, baby. You're a good writer." I perked up and gave a small smile.

"Thank you. No, I was visiting a colleague of Jacob's."

She frowned. "Why? And who?"

I set my drink down in front of me and looked out to the ocean. She was happy and true on this bright sunny day. The white sandy beach hurt my eyes. I looked back to Rosalie. Her face had fallen with concern. If I couldn't tell my best friend, who else could I tell? I took a deep breath.

"The woman who I think is fucking my husband," I whispered angrily. My teeth clenched together. It hurt to hear such a thing out loud, especially coming from my own mouth. Rose spit her martini through her nose. I couldn't contain my laugh as It escaped me loudly. She patted her face and the table with a napkin, then stared at me in disbelief.

"Jacob, the prude? Seriously? Did you catch him?"

"Not red-handed, no. He left for Orlando again last night. That's the second time in as many months." I lowered my voice and leaned in closer to Rosalie across the table. "I snooped around his office. There was a receipt for two tickets to Orlando last month for a Mr. and Mrs. Black."

Rose tilted her head in confusion.

"But you never went to Florida," she said slowly.

"A Mrs. Tanya Black." Rosie's eyes went as wide as saucers.

"No," she gasped. I nodded. "His new partner? That's fucked up."

"Tell me about it." Sadness finally made its way into my cold body. I wondered when it would come, because it had taken longer than I thought. I tried to push it away and only cling to fury instead. It was hard.

"So what happened? I mean, did you speak to her?"

"She's in Florida with him. I found her place, though. Here's the kicker," I said. Rose leaned in closer to me.

"She's married, too."

"Oh, no fuckin' way!" she yelled. I waved my arms around her face to calm her.

"Shh!" Rose hunched down embarrassed.

"No fucking way," she whispered again. All I could do was nod. "Did you see her husband?"

"I saw the back of Mr. Masen's head... That was it before my phone rang."

"You're going back there, right?"

"No, why would I?" I asked, perplexed. Rose rolled her eyes.

"Uh, to tell him?" she stated firmly.

"Hell no," I scoffed. "What kind of person would I be? 'Oh, hi, I'm your wife's lover's wife?' Please, Rosalie."

"Wouldn't you want him to tell you?"

"No," I answered too quickly. Rose stared at me knowing. I groaned.  
"Maybe he already knows," I said.

"Probably not. Guys aren't quick to catch on. Trust me." I chuckled softly. We grew silent for a minute. I chewed some celery but had lost my appetite.

"You'll leave him, won't you?" she asked. I shrugged. I couldn't do that. I hadn't even thought of that. Being with Jacob was better than being by myself, no matter what. That was a weakness I paid for dearly.

"We'll see," I lied. Rose sighed.

"Go tell Tanya's husband."

"I will. Tomorrow."

"And you'll let me know?"

"Of course." And I would.

* * *

**And it just gets more mysterious, right?! ;) So glad you guys are enjoying this story! Also, Ride to You will be updating tomorrow, so check it!**

**Shattered Hearts will be updated again on Friday.**

**Thank you Jules for your spectacular Beta work, and thank you Beffers for keeping my mind on track!**


	3. Chapter 3: Mad World

_Chapter Three: Mad World_

I didn't sleep that night. After my sneaky drive by and lunch with Rosalie, I didn't have it in me to think about my predicament any longer. I collapsed on the sofa in my office. Truthfully, I didn't want to sleep in my bed anymore. Sharing it with Jacob seemed tainted to me now. Thankfully, I slept peacefully. Not even nightmares came to keep me company.

By morning I was still in an argument with myself. Should I tell Tanya's husband, or should I not? I tried to think of the outcome of both. If I didn't say anything, nothing bad could happen to me, but I would feel terrible for not giving the guy a heads up. If I did tell him, he could freak out and call his wife, which would bring Jacob into all of it, too. Publicly displaying this was not an option. Jacob's father was in congress, and his law firm would suffer greatly. I sighed.

What I feared most about telling him was the idea that he might not believe me. After all, it's not like I had any crucial evidence. I sucked all that in though, and found myself driving toward the Masens'. When I passed the ocean, I checked to see her mood today. She was quiet and collected. It didn't comfort me. The weather forecast was calling for another rain storm by the end of the day.

When I turned onto Seventeenth St., Tanya's brownstone came into view almost immediately, and I spotted her husband's jeep. Didn't the guy work? I frowned, and pulled in behind him. I took a few moments to myself before getting out and facing the enemy. Although technically, weren't Mr. Masen and I on the same team?

I checked myself in the visor mirror. My hair fell long and was spiraled into curls. I flattened my light blue button up across my stomach and made sure my white capri's were still white. I groaned. I should have just dressed like myself, but it was too late now. With one more shout of encouragement in my head, I stepped out of my Volvo.

I rang the doorbell beside the large red door and waited. I clutched the strap of the small leather bag that hung across my chest. Loud music could be heard from within the grand townhouse. The music stopped, and I heard footsteps coming closer to the door. My breathing picked up. Suddenly I wanted to turn and run, but I was frozen.

After just a moment, the door opened. As my eyes took in the man that now stood before me, it caused all the air left in my lungs to leave in one big whoosh. I couldn't catch my breath. I had no idea he would be so stunning.  
"May I help you?" His voice was liquid honey. My world shifted into slow motion. His hair was more wild than it had been yesterday; it's copper color shined in the sunlight. I think what shocked me the most though was him being shirtless. He didn't seem to notice, but I sure did. He had a fine smattering of hair on his torso, and a large tattoo that started at his left hip, just above his jeans, and traveled all the way up his side. It was a large tree of some sort. My knees began to shake.

Paint of all colors was stuck to his chest hair, his arms, his jeans, and even a speck was on his cheek under his beard stubble. Finally, I forced my eyes up to his. They were a beautiful shade of emerald. He was waiting for me to speak. My throat ached with the words I couldn't seem to get out.

"Uh, hi," I stuttered. He smiled, showing a perfect top row of white teeth, his eyebrow raised in confusion. "My name is Bella Black."

"Oh, hi," he stammered. He wiped his hand on his dirty jeans. Watching him do so, I noticed his bare feet. I shivered. "It's great to meet you. My wife and I are very honored to be a part of your husband's law firm." He extended his hand. I hesitated, but then lunged for it, desperate to feel his skin.

His hand was soft and warm but crusted with paint. There was a sharp spark that shot down my arm and into his. He pulled his hand away and shook it in the air.

"That was weird," he mumbled. My cheeks were on fire. "Sorry about this," he said, gesturing to his nearly naked appearance. "You caught me at work."

"Oh?" I squeaked. He nodded, then suddenly stepped back and extended his arm.

"But please, come in."

Could I step over the threshold into enemy territory? Seeing his smile, I knew I could. And I did. He closed the door behind us and I followed him into his den. He grabbed a wet rag from a dirty old table and wiped his hands.

"What can I do for you, Mrs. Black?" His southern accent was deep and true. That only excited me further. Unfortunately, I had to ruin all this. What was I going to say? How would I bring it up? I groaned inwardly and blinked a few times to rid myself of the dizziness that he caused me.

"Um..." I folded. I couldn't do it. "I'm so sorry," I suddenly said. "I shouldn't have come." He flinched in surprise. I started for the door.

"No, wait," he said, coming up behind me. With my hand on the doorknob, I slowly turned to face him.

"Is everything all right?" he asked. I blinked more, only this time to stop the tears. I nodded. He frowned. "Did something happen? Is Tanya in-"

"She's fine," I interrupted quickly. Jesus, the man thought I came here with some sort of tragic news. If only. My shoulders fell. I was such a terrible person.

Mr. Masen seemed so kind, though. I didn't want to wreck that. But then, I thought about myself again, and I would want to know the truth.

"This is so awkward," I breathed.

"Would you like something to drink?" he asked suddenly. I didn't answer. "Water... Sweet tea? Maybe something stronger?" That caught my attention.

"Please," I nearly begged. He smiled again. It hurt my insides.

* * *

I sat straight as a board on one of the Masens' deck chairs. My right hand nearly crushed the glass of brandy it held as I sipped more. The burn in my throat that the dark liquid caused was welcomed. Mr. Masen had put on a shirt, sadly. Although, it did allow me to concentrate better. He leaned back into his chair across from me and propped his right ankle up on his left knee. I swallowed hard.

"So, what is this about, Mrs. Black?"

"Call me Bella, please," I blurted. He grinned. It was infectious.

"I'm here, Mr. Masen-"

"Edward, please," he said, chuckling. I looked to the deck floor shyly.

"Edward," I corrected. "I'm here because of my husband and your wife."

"Yes?"

"Well," I choked again. I couldn't do it. I wanted to literally smack myself across the face. Instead, I dug in my leather bag, pulled out the receipt, and handed it to Edward forcefully.

His eyebrows crossed, but he unfolded the paperwork to read over it. His face never changed. It worried me.

"What am I supposed to be seeing?" he asked. My shoulders slumped. I took down more brandy, but part of the drink didn't enter my mouth fully. I blushed and wiped my chin. Somehow I had become an idiotic woman that couldn't speak.

"I've never been to Florida," I said quietly. Edward didn't catch on. "Read farther down," I suggested. His pretty eyes went back to the paper.

"Tanya Black," he stated. Then, he laughed. "Nice typo. But I don't see why you came all this way to show me a small typo." I sucked in a breath so deep that it almost made me dizzy all over again.

"Edward, I think our spouses are having an affair." I mentally patted myself on the back and I almost let a smile slip. I did it. I told him. My conscience was clear. Edward didn't speak, and he didn't look to my eyes. Instead, he placed the plane ticket receipt on the glass table, and took out a pack of Camels from his back pocket. I sat uneasily and fidgeted with my fingers around my drink glass.

He lit his cigarette easily, then finally looked to me.  
He waved his cigarette in the air as he spoke, "Are you serious with this?"

"Of course, I am," I replied. I felt hurt, now. "I wouldn't have come if I weren't."

"And this is all you have," he said, gesturing his long delicate hand toward the receipt, "this simple keyboard slip up?" I looked down to the floor, ashamed, and nodded. He laughed again then stood up. It surprised me.  
"I'm sorry you came all this way, Bella."

"I don't live that far."

"Just the same." He suddenly motioned for me to stand, so I did.

"But, I mean, you're not even curious? Or suspicious?" He paused, then shook his head vehemently. My eyes went wide. He stubbed his cigarette out in a porcelain ashtray and headed inside. I followed behind him hastily.  
"Edward, they've gone to Florida twice in two months. When I ask about the case Jacob is working, he never gives me anything solid. And I'm sorry, but airlines can't afford any typos on names." I was speaking to his back. He stopped under the kitchen door frame, but didn't turn around.

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this," I whispered. He spun around to face me on his bare heel.

"Yeah, why did you?" His question caught me off guard. Finally, I shrugged. He turned around again, and headed for the front door. I followed, and on my way, noticed blank canvases lining a far wall.

"You cannot tell me that nothing she has said or done in the past two months has raised a suspicion for you," I yelled. "I'm not crazy." Edward stopped walking just before he got to the door. Again, he didn't turn to face me, but he reached for the door handle.

"I think you should leave," he said quietly. I knew he was angry, but I was, too.

"Just think about it, please. I'm going to be at the Shore Shack off of First St. tomorrow evening at seven. I'll wait for you," I said.

"Don't waste your time," he growled. The door opened and I took that as my cue to leave.

Just before crossing back into neutral territory, I stopped, but didn't turn to face him. I feared that the expression on his stunning face would surely crush me.

"I'm sorry we had to meet this way. I'm sorry she chose my husband," I whispered. He didn't reply, but I didn't wait for him to do so.

I left the brownstone and jogged to my Volvo. Once inside, I waited until I was off of Seventeenth St. before I let myself cry. Part of me wished that he would show up to meet me tomorrow, because I didn't want to be alone in this. I hoped Edward would maybe do some of his own snooping around and find something more concrete, something that ensured my sanity. What had my perfect circle become?

Suddenly, a song came on the radio that caught my attention. I turned the volume up to hear the lyrics over my sobbing.

_Their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow, no tomorrow_

_And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles its a very, very  
Mad world, mad world_

* * *

**Yay! They met! Even though it didn't go that well... LOL. Sexy Edward is sexy, right?**

**Thank you for all of your love on this story.**

**Thank you Bethany. Also Jules. She's the best beta I have ever worked with.**

**Expect Chapter 4 by Saturday :)**

**Mad World by Gary Jules**


	4. Chapter 4: Where You At?

_Chapter 4: Where You At?_

On Sunday, to say that my nerves were on edge would be an understatement. Everything about me was hyper sensitive. I sat coyly on a barstool at The Shore Shack. If Edward was coming, he was already twenty minutes late. I tried my best to keep myself together, but I was beginning to feel like an idiot. I couldn't fall apart: not here, in public. I sipped more of my Mudslide, and it soothed my burning throat.

It was a hot and humid evening. It never rained like it was supposed to yesterday. Instead, the meteorologists were calling for a storm tonight. At least my house was within walking distance of the Shack. My eyes looked out across the restaurant for the hundredth time tonight. They searched hard for copper hair. My heart skipped a beat any time I thought I had found him.

Jacob called to tell me happy birthday this morning. I know he only remembered to do so from the call that Wanda gave him every year. I felt much older than my twenty-seven years. He told me he loved me, but somehow, it only made me feel worse about myself. I hunched over the bar and wanted to cry my birthday away. I looked down to my appearance and groaned inwardly. I wasn't exactly sure why I dressed so nicely tonight. Maybe it was because of it being my birthday, or maybe because I wanted Edward to see me as pretty. I felt ugly in comparison to him. My short black dress, and red heels were annoying me. My hair was, too. I was uncomfortable, and felt like a fraud. I swept it off of my shoulders and began to tie it back when the sound of velvet froze me.  
"Is this seat taken?" My head snapped around to see Edward. He wore a loose fitted, white button up that was untucked from his denim jeans, and was sporting old Vans. I nearly melted to the ground right in front of him.

My hands dropped from my hair quickly.

"No," I stammered. I spun back around and reached for my drink. I prayed that it would somehow save me by giving me something to do, something to look at besides him. Edward took a seat on the stool and ordered a 7 and 7. He sounded and appeared so collected, but I wondered if he was as nervous on the inside as I was. The bartender nodded to him and scurried off. Edward turned to me. I was in the middle of taking a drink, but my cheeks heated, and I swallowed hard.

"You're late," I said nervously.

"My gallery opening didn't end until seven," he explained easily.

"You own a gallery?" I asked. He smiled and took out a Camel. He struck a match, and the smell of sulfur floated over to me. I inhaled deeply, in love with the scent.

"Mhmm," he said around the filter between his lips. His lips... I shivered and forced my eyes back up to his. "Bought it a few months ago."

"That's nice," I said lamely, obviously not paying attention. I forced my eyes away and cleared my throat. "So, you thought more about..." He exhaled smoke.

"I did," he replied. "And you might be right." My face brightened.

"Really?"

He raised a finger. "Might," he clarified. My shoulders dropped, and I didn't reply. Edward took a few more drags of his cigarette. "I found some receipts, too."

"Of?" I furthered.

"Victoria's Secret. Dated a month ago." I couldn't help my cringe.  
Was that what Jacob wanted? Someone to prance around in lingerie? I could've done that.

"Oh," I whispered.

"They were expensive purchases for lingerie that I have never seen her wear before," he said quietly, his face falling. Suddenly, I could feel his sadness and it felt much more painful than my own.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Edward shrugged and drank his fresh 7 and 7. His collected face returned.

"What do we do now?" I finally asked.

"We?"

"I mean, uh..."

Edward chuckled. "Look, we still don't have anything concrete. I thought maybe once they return home, you and I could keep in contact...you know? Secretly." I considered his proposition for a few moments.

"To catch them red handed," I said.

"Exactly. I don't know about you, but I didn't sign a prenup. I can't go to my lawyer with this petty shit."

Prenup?

Shit, were we talking about divorce now? I couldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. Living without Jacob wouldn't be any life at all. My nerves were beginning to crash, but I couldn't give in to them until I wasn't around Edward. I didn't want him to know how weak I was.

I forced a laugh. "Yeah, good thinking," I said flatly. "But what do you think, Edward? Honestly." He raised an eyebrow and turned to me. His eyes glistened.

"Honestly? I'd rather not think about it." He looked away. "We've only been married for a couple years. I thought we were happy."

"I know what you mean," I replied softly, turning back to my drink. Edward exhaled smoke through his nose.

"You been married long?"

"Nine years."

"Jesus. That's a lot longer than I pictured."

I shrugged. "We were high school sweethearts and married right after graduation. He's all I know."

"Must be nice," he said quietly.

"Not when something like this happens," I replied sadly. Edward looked at me again.

"I'm sorry. I never told you that, but I am." His sincerity was disarming.

I smiled. "I appreciate that."

* * *

Not long after finishing our drinks, Edward walked me the few short blocks home. He insisted upon it, and I didn't fight it hard. We strode along the beach in silence for a while. Once, our arms brushed against one another and I pulled away quickly, embarrassed. Edward chuckled nervously and ran a hand through his crazy hair. There was something between us, wanting to surface, but I couldn't allow it.

Why had this suddenly begun to feel like a first date?  
I looked up to the sky. Storm clouds were moving into Charleston.

"It's my birthday, today," I noted quietly.

"Happy birthday," he said softly from beside me. We were walking so close I could feel the heat from his body. It angered me that I liked it. I would never stoop to Jacob's level. I may be weak, but I sure as hell wasn't unfaithful. I couldn't help but feel something though: a spark of some kind. My mind was starting to reel with all of the emotions I was feeling, and I felt like I was reaching my boiling point. Just before we got to my house, I stopped walking.

I laughed. "Sorry. I really didn't tell you about this in order to get pity. Mostly I'm just mad that he isn't here." Edward watched me carefully. I threw my hands into the air and gave in to my emotions, releasing them. "I mean, what the fuck did I do wrong? What does she have that I don't?!" I was yelling now, but not at Edward. I looked up to the heavens. Where was God and why was he allowing this to happen? Had I done something wrong to bring it all upon myself?

"I can't answer that, Bella. But I will say this; I don't know you well, or even at all really, but you deserve better. " I lowered my head and locked eyes with him. Tears swelled up behind my eyes until they overflowed and started to trickle down my throat.

"I'm sorry," I cracked. "I didn't mean to say all that to you. But thank you for the compliment." Edward smiled slightly and shoved his hands in his pockets, as if he needed them restrained. I looked to my house across the street.

"This is me," I said.

"Wow," he replied astonished. "Nice."

"Too nice," I scoffed.

"I guess I should have become a lawyer," he teased.

"His father is in congress. This house was our wedding present," I replied quietly. Then, I looked back to his calm face. "Why aren't you upset?" I suddenly blurted. Edward's head shot back to me and he frowned.

"I am, it's just...I've dealt with this before."

"Betrayal?" I asked in disbelief.

"Divorce," he nearly whispered.

Then, his eyes quickly flickered up and down my body. I normally wouldn't have thought much about it, except I definitely felt like it meant something. I was shocked. Could he be feeling the same spark that I was?

"Oh." I groaned and threw my hands into my hair. I pulled hard. "I'm sorry. I'm just not right with all of this."

"I understand. And a big part of me hopes that we're wrong about it all."

"Me too," I sighed. An awkward silence passed. Edward ran a hand through his unruly hair.

"It's getting late," he said.

"Yeah. They get home tomorrow."

"Yeah."

Another pause ensued. Then, Edward pulled out his iPhone, which reminded me to do the same. We exchanged numbers and promised to alert one another if we found anything else out. Slowly, Edward took a step towards me and placed a hand on my shoulder. He offered me a smile, and then his hand was gone. My exposed skin burned almost painfully where his touch had been, and I never wanted it to stop.

I sat down on the beach and watched him walk away. Part of me was glad to see him leave, because he only reminded me of our tragedy. Although, there was this tiny whisper of a part inside of me that wished to see him again, I shoved that away and locked the door.

My husband would return home, and my circle of a routine would begin its turning once more. For the first time in years, I longed for it. Fear is a dreadful thing when it keeps you from living, but I allowed its take over, because fear was better than a broken heart. But where was Jacob now, when I needed him most? He left me in the dark on this stormy night, while he enjoyed time with another woman. Maybe she was a better woman than me. Not only did my husband want her, but Edward did, too. That left just me, but maybe the ocean would keep me company, and as soon as the rain came, we would cry together.

The smell of salt water breezed over my face. There was a couple just down the beach sitting on a blanket. Four tiki torches surrounded them as they kissed. My heart swelled for their simple happiness. They had a small radio playing. The well known song slowly wafted in my direction, and I screamed the lyrics in my head. It was everything I wanted to tell my husband, but could not.

_You said when the storm came  
That you would be there with your umbrella to block the rain  
And you said you'd protect me  
From heartache, pain, lies, loneliness, and misery_

_Where you at?  
Where you at?  
Boy, you said you would be here for me  
Where you at?_

* * *

**So, Edward showed up! Yay! I can't wait for you all to see where it all goes next.**

**Song: Where You At by Jennifer Hudson**

**If any of you are wanting a visual of Edward's tattoo's, or of where our characters live, Beffers87 has created a FB group for such things! There will be discussion, teasers, music inspiration and pictures! Also for my other stories as well! Ride to You and Imperfectly Matched among them. So, come request an add! Search:**

**Stories by Greye Granger, or**

**http/wwwfacebookcom/groups/553814601309653/**

**Thank you Beffers, and Jules! And all who have rec'd this story!**


	5. Chapter 5: Lies

_Chapter Five: Lies_

My circle routine had not only returned, but it was beginning to suffocate me. Jacob arrived home from Florida like he would any other business trip, and he wasn't acting any differently. It was much harder than I thought it would be to keep my wits about me in his presence, but I had persevered.

Being around him after learning of his betrayal, had me making note of behaviors I had not paid attention to before. We didn't kiss anymore, and rarely slept next to one another. Hell, we didn't even touch each other in passing. He was fine with it, or so it seemed, and apparently I was, too, since I had just recently started noticing these things.

Over a week passed by with no new evidence. One night I did smell perfume on Jacob's jacket, but I couldn't go to Edward with that. Maybe Jacob had been around Wanda a lot lately. My desire to discover new evidence was quickly becoming an obsession, even though I knew I wasn't strong enough to confront Jacob about any of it. At least, not yet I wasn't.

I wondered mostly about what it would be like when that time came. Would Jacob deny it? Would I yell and scream, or break down and cry? What would I do if he begged me to take him back? With the state I was in now, I probably would. The sick and twisted part of me didn't want to see him hurt. I loathed my own self loathing.

I often wondered about Edward, too. Was he thinking about me? Did he still worry about his wife's possible philandering? Maybe he stopped caring. Maybe he truly believed that I was insane. I didn't know, and I wouldn't ask him. Being away from him had that underlying spark slowly fading away into nothing.

Then, after two weeks had passed, Jacob and I were in the kitchen finishing the dinner that Bethany made. Steak, potatoes, and vegetables were her speciality. I leaned back into my wicker chair and sipped my vodka. I watched Jacob as he finished eating. He was an attractive man, wanted by many women, I knew that. But there was a time when I was the only woman he saw. Suddenly, good memories of the past started to fill my mind. I smiled lightly until Jacob wiped his mouth and stood up.

"Delicious, Bethany," he said.

"Thank you," she replied as she put the leftovers away in the fridge. Jacob put his cleared plate in the sink and left the kitchen without so much as a look my way. I watched Bethany closely. She had been quiet today, not her usual bubbly self.

"Bethany?" I asked. Her eyes lazily looked over to mine. She had dark circles beneath them. "Are you all right?" She sighed then peeked out towards the hall to assure Jacob's absence.

"Derek and I, we broke up," she cracked. I stood up and went to her immediately. I placed a tentative hand on her shoulder. She hunched over the counter and hid her face.

"What happened?"

"I told him about Jared. He freaked out and when I said that he'd been seeing someone else too-" She stopped to let a sob escape. I waited patiently, my heart breaking for her. "He said that he wasn't, and then he proved that he wasn't. It was just his new biology lab partner." She cried hard, but quietly. Her story struck me deeply. Little did she know that this could be me; and soon. I could be broken and crying in a kitchen to Rosalie. What if I really did have all of this wrong? I rubbed small circles over Bethany's back.

"I'm sorry, Beth. But what about Jared?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"He only wanted sex." My free hand flew to my mouth. Some people would've told Beth that she deserved what she got. She cheated, right? It was a fine line to walk for me. She was, in a sense, in Jacob's shoes. Would I be consoling him, too? I took my hand off her back and stepped away.

Just then, Jacob bounded into the kitchen. Bethany snapped upright and faced the other way, not wanting Jacob to see her. She patted her face. Jacob frowned.

"Uh, I'm gonna go for a jog," he said easily.

"You don't jog," I said. He shrugged.

"Never too late to start." With that, he leaned in, kissed my cheek, and then he was gone. My eyes followed him out the door.

"Loafers," I whispered.

"Huh?" Bethany asked.

"He was wearing loafers." My frown deepened. "People don't jog in loafers." Bethany shrugged.

"Do you think Derek can forgive me?" she asked hopefully. I sighed lightly and paused. She waited for my answer anxiously.

"I think it's possible, yes," I finally said. And maybe it was.

"Thank you, Bella." She smiled and hugged me. It caught me off guard, but I patted her back.

"I, uh, I'll be right back," I said. Bethany returned to her task.  
"I'm almost done here," she said.

"You're free to go whenever you're ready," I said absently. I left the kitchen and bolted for my office upstairs.

My iPhone was right where I had left it on my desk. I grabbed it and was scrolling through my contacts when a new text message arrived. It was from Edward. I smiled, then lost it just as quickly as I opened the text.

_She just left for groceries, only she's walking. She said we needed milk. We have milk... -E_

_He just left to go jogging in loafers. Guess we have our answer? -B_

_It would appear so. But it's still not redhanded. -E_

_I want to hate him. -B_

I hesitated before hitting send, but finally gave in. At least maybe Edward and I could go through this together. I would probably go fully insane if I had to endure all of this alone. Suddenly, I was thankful for iMessages. It made communicating about all of this happen so much faster.

_That would make it easier and harder. -E_

_At least I'm not crazy... -B_

_No, you're not. This is really happening. -E_

I dropped my iPhone onto the desk and stumbled back to my couch. This was it. This could be the end if I wanted it to be. Only, I didn't want it to be the end of my marriage. Edward seemed much stronger than I was. He didn't know that this would surely destroy me. Even though I was the victim, I should be strong. I wanted to be strong.

I laid back on the couch and closed my eyes. I tried to force the image of Tanya running into Jacob's arms and them kissing passionately in the street, out of my head. My arms wrapped around my stomach. Pain of all different kinds started to spread throughout my body. This is what I would feel every day if I stayed. That is, unless I became calloused.

How would we even handle a divorce in private? The media would know. His father's campaign would surely know. And I would be the woman that cried wolf, because she didn't have any proof. I let myself ache for now. I needed to wallow in my broken life. Scattered pieces of me were now lost like the ocean, parts of us everywhere and nowhere. Only today, she had been peaceful and quiet, so I would cry alone tonight.

* * *

I slept in my office for two nights after Jacob's supposed jogging trip. I couldn't face the reality, so I sat in front of my computer for hours, going through what seemed like bottle after bottle of vodka. I didn't even get drunk anymore.

Jacob came into my office after work one evening. I didn't turn to look at him, nor did I ask what he wanted. I could hear him hesitate.

"Lets go out tonight," he suggested. I frowned, then turned to face him.

"Out where?"

"I was thinking maybe The Peninsula downtown." My face, and my heart brightened.

"Okay," I replied with a nod. "I can be ready in half an hour."

Jacob nodded. "Good. I'll meet you downstairs."

I had already showered today, so I curled my hair and let it fall in long, loose curls. I applied more make-up than I had in weeks, and wore a brand new dress. It was a gift from Rosalie, and my favorite color: sapphire. I loved it because it was a v-neck in the front, and the back. I put on pearl colored heels with it, and then stared at myself in my full length mirror. I looked pretty, hopefully pretty enough to impress my husband.  
I made my way downstairs slowly, not wanting to trip over my high heels. When I came into the den, Jacob looked up from his phone and a small gasp left his mouth. He stood up quickly and swallowed hard. His black suit was pressed, and he was clean shaven. He blinked a few times, still staring at me.

"You look nice," he nearly choked. I smiled and looked down at my dress. I couldn't help but feel a sense of arrogant satisfaction.

* * *

The Peninsula Grill was a hot spot for wealthy people in Charleston, South Carolina. Jacob and I would come here every year for our anniversary and indulge in high priced steak and seafood. I took it as a good sign that he was bringing me here tonight.

We had been seated quickly and were waiting for our drink orders as we skimmed over the menu.

"Know what you want?" he asked lightly.

"Same as always," I said. Jacob chuckled.

"Yeah, me too, I think." I put my menu down and stared at my husband. He hadn't aged a day in at least ten years. He was even a little older than I was, but most people guessed his age to be at least five years younger than he was. I glanced around the restaurant and couldn't help but notice other women looking over their menus, drinks, or around their dates, to see my husband. I thought about giving each of them a dirty look, but I just couldn't. Sure, we were still married, but Jacob hadn't felt like mine in a long time.

"So, how's work?" I asked, desperate for conversation.

"Great," Jacob replied excitedly. "Really great. We're about to land a Supreme Court case."

"That's good," I said smiling. Jacob nodded and our waitress returned. She was an older woman with grey hair, and even she couldn't take her eyes away from Jacob. Part of me wanted to stand up and scream that he wasn't that attractive, but I refrained. He was good looking; but, to get all of this attention? Had it always been this way? Maybe I hadn't even cared to look until now. The waitress placed my champagne down in front of me, and I practically lunged for it.

Just as the waitress took out her notepad and was about to ask for our order, a high voice interrupted her.

"Jacob?" My husband turned around and smiled widely. I couldn't see who he was smiling at because of the waitress in front of me. I frowned and leaned around her as Jacob stood up from the table. Long blonde hair was the first thing that caught my eye. I stood up, too, and walked around the waitress to see Edward staring at me. My stomach dropped to the ground along with my jaw. He was giving me a stern look, but it was also laced with confusion and worry.

"Oh, Bella," Jacob suddenly boomed. I turned to my husband's smiling face. "This is Tanya Masen." My eyes were locked to the hand that was placed on the small of her back.

"From work. Yes, hi," I squeaked, stepping forward and forcing my eyes to her. Tanya's bright white teeth gleamed back at me. Her eyes were hazel; a perfect contrast between her skin and hair. Her large breasts were nearly falling out of her short black dress. She extended a hand to me.

"Mrs. Black, it's so nice to meet you," she told me in a high voice. I took her hand, and shook it firmly.

"Likewise," I lied smoothly.

"Jake talks about you all the time," she gushed. Jake? I turned to my husband, who was still staring at Tanya. "All good things," she assured. I nodded and smiled lightly. Tanya looked to her husband and placed a hand on his shoulder. I could see Edward stiffen.

"This is my husband, Edward," Tanya said. Her voice was less high, and her smile had faded some, too. Jacob shook Edward's hand and nodded. When Edward turned to me with his own hand extended, my stomach grew nauseous. I stepped forward and placed my hand in his. There was a shock, much like the first time we had touched hands, so I pulled away quickly, embarrassed. Edward had noticed it, too, and shook his hand lightly trying to rid himself of the feeling. When I looked to see if Jacob had noticed, I frowned seeing him and Tanya looking away from Edward and me.

"Mrs. Black," Edward said smoothly.

"Mr. Masen," I whispered, turning back to Edward's green eyes.

"Why don't you join us for dinner?" Jacob suggested.

"That would be great!" Tanya cheered. I rolled my eyes and went back to my chair. Edward took a seat next to me, with Tanya on my other side, and Jacob across from me.

* * *

Over an hour had passed at The Peninsula. Food had come and gone, followed by many, many drinks. The more we all drank, the less awkward things became. In fact, it was almost comical now, this whole situation. I was having dinner with my husband, his mistress, and her husband. I had no doubt in my mind that Jacob was fucking Tanya, but without proof, I felt that I still couldn't confront him about it. He could, and would deny it all, but with proof, he could not.

Edward was the quietest of all of us, sipping his liquor and staring at me from time to time. That made me more nervous than anything because I felt like his eyes were trying to tell me something. He wore black slacks and a white linen button up, his hair wild and his face dusted with stubble. He was the polar opposite of Jacob, but women from all around the restaurant were staring at him as much as they were my husband. Men had even taken quick notice of Tanya and her bulging breasts. I sighed, and felt like I couldn't escape their beauty as I sat plain and ordinary. I was the black sheep in a glorious white herd.

Tanya's laugh, her fake smile, and my husband's clear indulgence in every word she uttered was beginning to annoy me.

"So what do you do, Mrs. Black?" Tanya suddenly asked. I choked on my champagne.

"Uh, not much, actually," I deadpanned. "How long have you been a lawyer?"

"Not very long," she replied smiling. "I'm an amateur."

"Nonsense," Jacob countered. "We scored high in landing you at the firm." I heard Edward snort, making it harder to suppress my own. The more I listened to Jacob's compliments and Tanya's high voice, the less calm I became. I couldn't handle much more, and when the waitress brought us our separate checks, I sighed in relief. Edward paid quickly, and I rose from the table.

"Mrs. Masen, it was nice meeting you," I said as I was getting ready to leave. Tanya smiled. I turned to Jacob. "I need some fresh air. I'll meet you at the car." Jacob shrugged and nodded, taking his credit card from his wallet. Edward stood up abruptly.

"I'll go get the car," he said, looking at his wife. Tanya didn't reply, but nodded, still looking at my husband. I groaned, and walked away from the table.

I thought it would hurt more, leaving my husband alone with his mistress, but instead, it felt good, and I was slowly gaining my wits back. I could feel Edward at my heel, and when we were safely outside and out of earshot, I threw my hands in the air, exasperated.

"Wow," I said. Edward jogged up beside me.

"Fuck, that was awful," he droned. I wrapped my arms around myself and slowed my walking.

"I'm sure you still need your proof, though," I retorted. Edward sighed.

"I do. I could lose all I have in a divorce with her. I'm not going through that again."

"But you believe me, now, right? Without a doubt?" Edward stopped walking and ran a hand through his hair.

"As hard as it is to admit it, yeah." I smiled.

"Good," I replied. He frowned.

"Good?"

"Now I'm not alone," I whispered. "And I'm not crazy."

"No, you're not." I smiled wider. Edward sighed again, frustrated with something.

"Bella, when all of this finally comes out, I wanted-" He cut himself off at the sound of Tanya's laughter. We turned to see our spouses walking towards us. I frowned, wishing that I could have heard what Edward wanted to tell me.

We parted ways, and driving home with Jacob in silence was torture. I felt more alone with him now, then I did when he was gone. He didn't look at me, he didn't reach across the center console to hold my hand...but neither did I. Every now and then, I caught him smiling to himself, and sadly, I was ready to admit that he wasn't smiling about me anymore.

* * *

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	6. Chapter 6: Awake

_Chapter Six: Awake_

The end of the week came, and still nothing had changed. I felt the same, wondered and worried about the same stuff, and my routine wasn't comforting anymore. I was growing sick of my own life: the life I had created for myself. Jacob and I didn't speak about our dinner at the Peninsula, and we were still sleeping in separate rooms. I wanted my proof as badly as Edward now, because I wasn't going to be able to handle much more of this.

Jacob came into my office before leaving for work. He carried a small duffle bag. I rolled my eyes.

"Back to Florida?" I snapped. He hesitated, and then I heard him sigh.

"No, Asheville, actually," he replied. "There's a new office there."

"Oh."

"It'll only be two days, three tops. You know, the weekend. These new lawyers are hard to butter up, but we need their office to merge with ours." I shrugged, obviously showing no interest in his lies.

"Are you all right?" he suddenly asked. "You look depressed." I wanted to laugh, but I suppressed the urge. I flung a hand out toward my computer instead. Jacob sighed again and placed his bag on the floor. He walked over to me. His black hair was neat and clipped. The color of his skin almost matched his brown suit.

"It'll come to you. You're a good writer." I suddenly realized that he must be acting kind because he felt guilty for screwing another woman. I would take it though, just like I took everything else. I stood up.

"Are you happy?" I asked. Jacob frowned, and actually thought about my question before answering.

"Of course. I have a beautiful wife, a fabulous job, a big house, and a BMW." He laughed easily. If that's all he had to be happy about, I was in a lot more trouble than I thought.

Then, something unfamiliar came over me. I looked into my husband's dark eyes, the same eyes I had been looking into for years, but suddenly didn't see anything in them anymore. They were hollow, staring back into my equally hollow ones. I tentatively placed a hand on his cheek. Jacob stiffened, but recovered quickly. I needed to know if our spark was gone. I leaned in and placed my lips to his. He was my husband, and each kiss we shared should be the kiss to end all kisses, the one that ignited the world, but this kiss was nothing.

We pulled apart at the same time. An awkward silence passed and I sat back down in my chair, defeated. I thought back to the one thing that could maybe save us. I hadn't allowed myself to think about it before, but now it was my only option.

"Can we talk more about a baby when you get home?" I hedged. Jacob sighed. I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try. I still really wanted a baby, and I didn't care if I sounded desperate anymore.

"Not this shit again." He ran a hand over his face in annoyance.

"It's important to me," I whispered.

"Not to me."

"It was! Failing doesn't mean you give up, Jacob."

"I'll think about it." I let it go, knowing he was just telling me what I wanted to hear. Tears started building up and threatened to fall.

"Bye," I whispered in defeat.

"I'll call you when I get there. I'll leave after work." I nodded again. Then, Jacob leaned down to kiss my cheek. It burned like dry ice against my heated skin. I flinched. He left without another word, and for once, I was glad that he didn't utter the word love to me.

* * *

Rosalie was coming by today, thankfully. I hoped that maybe she could whip me into shape after Jacob finally left for Asheville and I told her what happened. I kept the front door unlocked for her, because I didn't want to move. When I heard her climbing the stairs that would lead her to my office, I hid my vodka in a desk drawer. She came in the room slowly.

"Bella?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Why is it so dark in here?" I shrugged. Rose stalked past me and opened the floor length curtains that hid my bay window. She unlatched the lock and pushed the tall window open. Sunlight flooded into the small space, which made me squint my eyes in pain.

"Fuck, you look like shit," she said. I shrugged again.

"Okay, zombie woman. Get up."

"No," I whispered. Rose came over to me and pulled me up by my arm.

"Rosalie," I whined.

"I'm serious, Bella. Get up!" She pulled me harder and I stumbled onto my feet. My old sweats and baggy t-shirt nearly drowned my tiny frame. My hair was in knots, and my eyes burned from tears.

"Jesus, how much have you had to drink?" she asked. I wobbled unsteadily. Rosie sat me back down in my chair. She rubbed her face with her well manicured hand and sighed.

"He's a dick. You either divorce him, or stick it out. You cannot do this to yourself. Have you even eaten? Or showered?"

"Not really," I replied lamely. "And I can't divorce him, Rosalie. At least, not without a cavalry of paparazzi's flooding my front stoop."

"So get revenge," she suggested easily. "Maybe you'll feel better." I frowned and looked up to her blue eyes. She didn't falter.

"I can't go fuck some random person to feel better about myself, Rose. It doesn't work that way. For me, at least."

"Well, you need to do something, dammit. You smell like a liquor cabinet." I looked down and picked at my shirt.

"What about Tanya's husband?"

"What about him?" I countered.

"Well, I just thought that maybe you two could help each other out...you know, since you're both going through the same thing."

I scoffed, "Edward can just divorce Tanya and rid himself completely of her. It's easy for him."

"It's never easy for anyone, Bella," Rose argued. I sighed.

"Look, if you don't get out of that fucking chair, I'm going to call a rehab center." I didn't move. Rose slapped my thigh.

"Okay, okay!" I yelled. I stood up and almost fell over, but caught myself on the desk.

"I'm going to make you a sandwich. Go shower, and wear that new jean skirt I got you!" I waved my arm at her dismissively and stumbled to the bathroom.

* * *

Thanks to Rosalie's tough love, I felt ten times better after a hot shower. My alcohol induced haze had left me, my hair was detangled, and I smelled like fresh lavender. I dressed in a short jean skirt, and a teal colored halter top with no bra. It was backless and showed my freckles. I put on my old Converse and even applied mascara. I now looked as good as I felt.

When I emerged into my kitchen, Rosalie grinned and began applauding me. I blushed and curtsied.

"Okay, okay," I said. "Thanks for kicking my ass."

"Anytime," she cooed. "Come eat."

We discussed Rosalie's clothing business and her many boyfriends over food and drinks. Before I knew it, it was late afternoon. Rosalie's company had made the time go by quickly, and for that I would always be grateful. She didn't ask about my problems with Jacob, because she knew that it would throw me back into a depression.

"I want love," she whined, pushing her plate away.

"Rosie, you date more guys in a week than most women do in years. You're bound to find love sooner or later."

"They're all boring, or jobless, or too clingy. Where is my perfect other?"

"He's out there," I assured, rising from the table and going to the sink.

"I miss good sex, too." I laughed. "What, don't you?"

"It never meant that much to me," I replied easily. Rosalie scoffed.

"I mentioned having kids again," I blurted sadly. Rose sighed.

"Oh, babe. Not now. Do you really want something that would tie you to him forever after everything you know?"

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"You'll have kids, I promise. But that won't save your marriage with him." I nodded slowly. Rosalie was right.

Out of the blue, a knock sounded loudly on my front door. I finished washing dishes and nodded to Rose, who skipped out of the kitchen to answer it. I heard a male voice over the running sink water. I flipped the nozzle down, cutting the water off, and listened.

"Edward Masen," I heard him saying. I gasped, causing my hand to slip and I nicked myself on a sharp knife. I seethed in pain.

"Come on in," I heard Rosalie tell him.

"Shit," I whispered, reaching for a nearby dish towel and wrapping it around my bleeding palm. I smoothed out my hair with my clean hand, and took a deep breath.

As Rose led Edward into the kitchen, she gasped and ran towards me, taking hold of my wounded hand.

"What did you do?"

I shrugged, "Stupid kitchen knife," I said nonchalantly. Edward appeared in the doorway. His mahogany hair glimmered and his black v-neck allowed his chest hair to peek out. His jeans were stained with colorful paint, and he wore those ratty old Vans. I smiled at him. Rosalie left my side, and I felt weak without her.

"Hey," his deep voice said.

"Hi," I squeaked back. Rose reappeared with a Band Aid and peroxide. I stood motionless as she unwrapped the towel from my hand. My palm throbbed in pain.

"What brings you here?" I asked Edward, desperate for a diversion from my bleeding cut. I flinched when she applied the peroxide.

"Is your hand all right?" he asked.

"It'll be fine," Rose replied for me. "Stop moving, Bella," she ordered. I froze. Edward gave my body a quick once over with his green eyes. My heart smiled and pumped furiously. That distant spark was instantly ignited again.

"Anyway," he said, clearing his throat. "I've come to take you to Asheville." My face fell immediately.

"Why?"

"To find our evidence," he replied simply.

"Maybe they really are meeting with a new firm," I offered. He snorted.

"I don't think Tanya needed eight dresses and all lace underwear for a business meeting," he snapped. I shivered again and looked down to my hand where Rosalie was placing the large bandage over my cut. I was trying to think of an excuse to give Edward when Rosalie turned to him

"She'll be ready in ten minutes."

"She will?" he asked, surprised. He even sounded a little excited.

"I will?" I huffed. Rose looked back to me and narrowed her eyes. "I mean, yeah, I will." Rose nodded.

"Let's get you packed."

Edward followed us out of the kitchen and took a seat in the den. I nearly ran up the stairs behind Rosalie. In my room, I grabbed a small duffel bag and laid it on my neatly made bed. Rosalie dug through my dresser drawers.

"What am I doing?" I hissed.

"You're getting your answers. And maybe some revenge." My cheeks heated.

"No! Not with him," I whispered.

"Why?"

"Because he's... I mean I'm-"

"Clearly there is an attraction between the two of you. Don't tell me you can't feel the tension. It's fucking palpable, Bella." I took in her words and finally frowned, realizing the truth about my growing feelings toward Edward.

"But to just leave the city with him? He's practically a stranger."

Rose scoffed, "He's harmless. And he's paid more attention to you than Jacob has in...I don't know how long."

Rosalie noticed my sudden frantic state and after shoving clothes into my bag, she took me by the shoulders. I blinked a few times as she shook me slightly.

"Snap out of it," she ordered. "Just go." I nodded briskly. Rose ran into my bathroom then quickly returned with my toothbrush and make-up bag. "Don't think about anything."

"I'll try not to," I whispered. Rose zipped my bag and hung it over my shoulder. I gripped the strap tightly, and followed her back down the stairs.

Edward stood up from the love seat as soon as we rounded the corner.

"All set?" he asked with a small clap of his hands. Was he nervous, too? We both looked to Rosalie.

"Have fun!" she cheered, then quickly frowned. "I mean," she coughed, "Good luck." Edward snorted. I rolled my eyes and kissed her cheek.

"Lock up?"

"I'll be right behind you," she replied. Edward opened the front door for me. I blushed, and stepped out.

Spending hours alone in a confined space with Edward suddenly didn't have me feeling as afraid as I suspected it would, but I couldn't let my joy be seen by him. We were going on this trip to find the truth: the answers to our spouses' infidelity. That should be a sad thing; but if it was, I wasn't feeling the sadness yet. However, I was more awake now than I had been in days.

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7: The Story

_Chapter Seven: The Story_

Edward and I drove in silence until we left the city limits of Charleston. It was awkward at first, but then became somewhat comfortable. I felt like we were in an unspoken argument with each other over who would speak first, to break the silence. I wanted to, but I couldn't find my voice.

Then, he parted his perfect lips.

"So, uh," he stammered. "What do you do, Bella?"

"I'm a writer. Well, I'm trying to be a writer," I admitted sheepishly.

"Ah, a writer. I could see that with you. How's it coming along?"

"It's not."

Edward chuckled, "The thing most people don't understand about artists is, we can't make art if we're not inspired. It'll come to you, though."

I smiled, "Thanks. I hope you're right." Edward glanced at me from the corner of his eye. He drove with one hand on the steering wheel. I took notice of the tattoo that lined the outer side of his forearm.

My mind searched for the verse that went with Psalm 143.

Was Edward religious?

Was that something you even asked people now?

"Do you lose inspiration to paint?" I asked.

"All the time," he replied with a chuckle. He reached for a Camel in the center console. I watched carefully as he used his left knee to steer the Jeep, so that his hands could strike a match, allowing sulfur to overwhelm my senses. He rolled down his window half way and smoked.

"Want one?" he asked. I shook my head quickly.

He laughed. "You're a writer that doesn't smoke?"

"I drink," I said. Edward laughed harder, and it was a lovely sound that made me laugh, too.

"So, tell me," I began slowly, "how did you and Tanya meet?" Edward raised an eyebrow.

"You really want to know?"

"I do. Maybe it'll help."

Help what, I had no idea, but I did want to know.

He took a long drag and blew his smoke out the window.

"We met about three years ago. She had just moved to Charleston from Georgia, dirt poor, and fresh out of law school. One day, she came to buy one of my paintings. I used to sell them on the streets and put ads in the newspaper." He chuckled, obviously fond of the memory. His southern accent was thick and sexy. "I sold it to her at half price. We got married not five months later. I suppose the rest is history," he stated flatly, and smoked more.

"That's nice," I whispered. "What about before?" I hedged. He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head.

"Before?"

"You mentioned a previous divorce," I said quietly.

"Same thing as now," he replied through gritted teeth. I didn't push him any further.

He shrugged. "So what about you and Jacob?"

"Oh, uh," I smiled slightly, "We met in homeroom when I was sixteen, and he was the most popular guy in school. We married a week after graduation at his parents' beach house." It felt strange to tell my own story.

"I followed him to Duke Law and worked at a bookstore. That's when I realized that I wanted to write. Jacob always supported me in it."

"That's good," he replied kindly. "When did things start to fall apart?" I had to think for a minute. My mind raced back into the past.

"You know, friend to friend," he added, and I smiled.

"A couple years ago I suppose. It probably began when I started to speak about having children. Jacob always avoided the topic like the black plague. He didn't care how badly I wanted them. The sad part is, he used to tell me that he wanted them as badly as I did all the time, but would say it just wasn't the right time. We stopped communicating, then we stopped everything else and became two people that shared the same house."

"You didn't fight?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Tanya and I do. Started about three months ago. She began complaining about everything and nagging me over stupid things."

"Sounds like she was picking fights," I noted quietly.

"I never thought of it like that," he replied. He flicked his cigarette out and rolled up the window.

"The sex didn't stop, though. That surprises me now that I know what I know." My stomach grew queasy. I didn't want to know such things.

Was he still sleeping with her, even with the inkling that she was sleeping with my husband? He looked over to me.

"You know?" he furthered. I forced a smile.

"Yeah, weird." I faked enthusiasm. Then, I decided I should be more comfortable about discussing such things.

What could it hurt, now?

Rarely did I ever speak about my sex life. Not even to Rosalie.

"We haven't had sex in a very long time."

"Seriously?" Edward snorted. "That's surprising."

"Why?" Edward's eyes shifted to everywhere but me. He cleared his throat.

"Well, I mean you're so, uh." I giggled. I figured that he was trying to pay me a compliment. "Most guys take it whenever they can with who ever," he finally said. My face fell.

"Guys like you?" I blurted, then covered my mouth.

"No, not like me," he replied softly.

"Then I guess he didn't want it from me anymore," I nearly whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "That came out wrong. What I meant was, if he already had one beautiful woman, I don't see why he went in search for another." His hands waved around in the air because he was nervous. My cheeks started blazing anew and my heart began to pump faster.

"Thank you," I whispered. "And the same goes for you." Edward beamed and stared back out at the road.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What were you going to tell me the other night? Before Jacob and Tanya came outside of the Peninsula..." Edward took a deep breath.

"Just that, when all this is over, whatever happens, maybe we could be friends." My heart began to flutter like mad, and I smiled, but then it faded.

"I'm afraid," I said, staring out the window. The rolling hills of North Carolina grew in size the more north we drove. "Of what we may find."

"So am I. But thanks for coming."

"Thanks for bringing me."

That's all that was said before Edward switched on his stereo. I hunkered into his brown leather passenger seat and listened as a new song flooded the car.

_All of these lines across my face_

_Tell you the story of who I am_

_So many stories of where I've been_

_And how I got to where I am_

The words of the song spoke directly to my heart. I wished I could speak them aloud to Edward. My eyes glanced over to him. I wondered if he was paying attention.

_You see the smile that's on my mouth_

_It's hiding the words that don't come out_

_All of the friends who think that I'm blessed_

_They don't know I'm in this mess_

Suddenly, Edward's grip on the steering wheel tightened. His knuckles went white. He wasn't only listening to the song, but he was actually hearing the lyrics like I had hoped.

_Oh but these stories don't mean anything_

_When you've got no one to tell them to_

_It's true, I was made for you_

_Oh yeah, and it's true that I was made for you_

We both looked to each other, then looked away quickly and laughed; embarrassed. Whatever was happening between us, it went beyond our spouses. But then I wondered, could our two hearts ever be around each other without Jacob and Tanya's, too? It was a growing relationship that split four ways.

* * *

Asheville was a beautiful city to visit, and would also be a beautiful place to live. You're high up in the Appalachians and there are eccentric things to go do. It was home to Biltmore Estates, too. I had always wanted to visit there, especially when they were filming the movie Hannibal. Edward slowed the Jeep down when we passed the grounds to the large mansion. You couldn't see much, but it was closer than I had ever been to it.

Apparently Tanya had told Edward the name of the hotel she was staying in. He said that she probably didn't mean to, it just slipped out; but for that, we were both grateful. We parked a block down from the Marriott Hotel and walked the rest of the way. The dark evening, summer clouds above us looked like they would be carrying in a storm. I enjoyed the mountains, and wished that I could be around them more.

We walked close to the old buildings on the opposite side of the street. Edward had put on a baseball cap, and I kept my head low with my hair down. We waited across the street from the hotel inside a pharmacy. We pretended to be looking for something in particular that we knew the old drug store wouldn't carry.

Finally, night fell, and our nerves were shot. We were getting tired of being so on edge. The hotel lobby bar sprang to life after the sun went down. Edward and I could go back onto the sidewalk without being noticed, as long as we stayed away from street lamps. We waited for what seemed like forever.

"Maybe they're not here," I finally suggested.

"They have to be," he whispered. He shifted on his feet, extending his neck left and then right. We had a perfect and clear view of the hotel bar behind the tall glass windows. I was about to give up completely.

"Edward, lets just go," I said. He didn't reply. I sighed, and turned to walk back to the Jeep. As I was passing in front of Edward, he grabbed my arm. His touch electrified me.

"Look," he seethed. My eyes went from his, to across the street, and in through the Marriott windows. Edward didn't release my arm and I was glad because was keeping me from falling over.

We watched Jacob Black and Tanya Masen walk into the hotel bar together. My husband's arm was wrapped around her waist. He wore a black suit, and he was smiling a brilliant, happy smile. Tanya was just as I remembered her: tall, lean, and her skin was the color of honey. Her blonde hair was pinned up, exposing her delicate neck and shoulders. She wore a short red dress and black heels. Her smile matched Jacob's.

They moved to sit at the bar. I could feel Edward's hand tighten around my arm. Jacob spoke to a bartender. When the man left, Tanya leaned in to whisper something in Jacob's ear. He laughed and kissed her just below her ear. Tears were streaming down my face. Then, I frowned as Jacob got up from the bar and walked away from Tanya. He pulled something from his pocket. I squinted, trying to see what it was, when suddenly, my phone rang. Edward released my arm, still staring ahead at his wife.

"Hello?" I answered shakily.

"Hey, babe," Jacob boomed. "I'm just now leaving a meeting at the new office." I didn't answer. His back was turned in the bar, so I couldn't see his face. "So...just checking in," he added.

"Okay," was all I could muster.

"I was thinking more about what you wanted to discuss when I got back."

"Uh-huh."

"Nothing has changed for me, Bella. I don't want children with you. Ever. I've told you that over and over."

"But-"

"No."

Then, Edward's hand found my arm again, trying to console me. I couldn't withstand Jacob's admittance and Edward touching me at the same time. My heart was slowly deteriorating, so I hung up the phone, ripped my arm away from Edward's hold and started running down the street. I left both of them behind me with my heart.

I was three buildings down before I felt Edward on my heels.

"Bella!" he panted. "Wait!" I kept running. I made it to the Jeep and tried to open the door, but it was locked. I dropped to my knees. The gravel pavement stabbed into my bare skin, but I welcomed the burning. My head was in my hands, but I had stopped crying, because something else began to take over me.

"God, I wish we hadn't come," I said. Edward was trying to catch his breath.

"Don't say that. Now we know for sure."

"I already did know for sure, Edward!" I spat.

"Well now you have proof and you can divorce him," he replied easily. My head snapped up to see his face.

"Divorce him?" I gasped. Edward paused, frowned, and then slowly nodded. I shook my head and stood up.

"No one would notice your divorce, but my divorce would be on the front page of every newspaper in Charleston."

"That's what you care about? Your image?" He sounded angry, and it was directed at me. I stood up, and straightened my skirt.

"He has everything, Edward!" I yelled. "What would I live off of? Hell, where would I live? He's everything," I whispered. "I wish it were as easy for me as it is for you."

He snorted and threw his hands in the air in defeat. "Oh, it's easy for me is it? This is my second marriage in eight years, Bella! I'm thirty fucking years old, and the only women that want me, want to fuck other people, too!"

Again, his pain washed over me and it was unbearable enough to bring new tears to my eyes. I looked to the ground in shame. We were supposed to be on the same team, but our spouses were ripping us apart. I'd lost Jacob, but could I lose Edward, too?

"You know that's not what I meant," I finally said. I twisted a long strand of my hair around my finger. Edward ripped his ball cap off.

"What did you mean, then?"

"I wish I was as strong as you, but I'm weak, Edward. And I'm tired. I don't know what the fuck to do anymore." His face grew soft, and he sighed after taking a step closer to me. He couldn't give me an answer, I knew that. He couldn't tell me what to do, because he didn't know either.

"Just take me home, please," I whispered.

"I don't think you should be alone, Bella." I didn't feel any sadness anymore; I felt anger and despair.

"We both need to calm down. Let's go get a drink," he offered. That brightened my mood immensely. I slowly nodded to him and swiped my face. Edward took out his keys, and unlocked the Jeep.

* * *

**Woo! Real life sure does like to get in the way of updating, but here it is!**

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**Massive thanks to Jules Twifanbowersox and Beffers87 as always!**

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**Song-The Story, Brandi Carlile**


	8. Chapter 8: Untouched

**I highly recommend listening to the song, "Untouched" by The Veronica's when reading this chapter. :D**

* * *

_Chapter Eight: Untouched_

Edward drove to the opposite end of town and finally pulled in front of a small brick building. Colorful lights shined through the entrance. I glanced up the street. The pain in my chest had eased the further we had gone from the Marriott.

We got out of the Jeep and music playing from within the small building before us wafted out onto the sidewalk. It sounded like Frank Sinatra. Edward walked around to his trunk, and removed an old paint rag. I frowned.

"Your knees," he said lightly. I looked down to see a few small indentations with dried blood. I cringed, and looked away. Edward chuckled, and kneeled down in front of me. All I could see what his thick hair, and the smell of his shampoo overwhelmed me, so I tried not to breath. He dabbed each knee lightly, then stood up.

"There." I blushed.

"Thank you." Edward nodded, and threw the rag back in the trunk.  
When we emerged inside the club, the place took my breath away. Small round tables littered the outer perimeter of the space, allowing space for a dance floor in the middle. There were people dancing, and just as many people sitting. It was cozy, dark and smelled of liquor and cigars. When I felt Edward's hand on the small of my back it struck me like lightening, and I almost moved away; but the spark slowly started to recede and not hurt anymore. We found a table off to the side of the slow dancers.

My eyes watched couples move together as one. It made me blush to see such sensual acts displayed right before me. Edward watched, too. A waitress appeared at our table with a bright smile and handed me a flier. Apparently is was eccentric music night, and each new song that played would be completely different from the last.

"Intriguing," I commented absently.

"It enlightens people," the waitress said, not looking to me. "What can I get you guys?"

"Screwdriver, light ice, please." She nodded, but again, did not turn to look at me. The short blonde had streaks of pink in her hair and wore a skimpy black skirt. She propped a hand up on her hip and batted her eyelashes at Edward, who was staring down at the flier.

"7 and 7," he said, not looking at her. She paused, let out a huff, then turned on her heel as I chuckled.

A new song began to play. I think it was Miles Davis. I watched as couples shifted to and from the dance floor.

"Odd place," Edward noted.

"I like it," I said. He smiled at me. The waitress returned and left without a word and I nearly downed my entire drink. I could feel Edward's eyes on me.

"Easy, killer," he joked. I blushed, embarrassed, and set my drink down. I wiped my chin and giggled. Maybe the alcohol, and any strength I had left within me, would keep all thoughts of my husband away for now.

"I don't want you to feel trapped in your marriage, Bella," Edward finally said. It seemed like something he had been keeping in for a while. I smiled slightly.

"Thanks," I replied quietly. "But, how about we don't talk about them for a while," I offered. Edward grinned and raised his glass to me.

"Deal." We clinked glasses and started something new.

* * *

An hour passed without my knowing. My alcohol intake had made the world shine in a different light. My mind was a little fuzzy, but I felt alive, with no worries or cares. Edward and I laughed about past stories told, and future dreams wanted. It had only been sixty minutes, but I felt like he knew all there was to know about me.

He had become a true friend, someone that knew my life's experiences because he too had experienced them. I learned about his painting, his high school crush and the only time he had seen his mother cry. It was all very personal, and I treasured every word that left his mouth. He must have felt the same way, because he was the only man I had ever known that paid such close attention to what I said aloud. In fact, he noticed things about me that even I had never noticed before. I told him about small things like my love for the ocean, how I was in the high school band, and what I wished I could write about. It was completely disarming, and that's how he tore my walls down. We had just finished another round of drinks when Edward took out a Camel from the back pocket of his jeans.

"Want one?" he asked. I stared at the stick of tobacco and grinned.

"Why not? I am a writer," I said teasingly. Edward smiled crookedly and handed me the cigarette. I placed it between my lips and lost my breath as Edward leaned across the small table towards me. My eyes locked with his briefly, then watched as he lit a match. I leaned forward and the cigarette glowed orange.

I coughed hard as foreign smoke filled my lungs. My eyes watered and my nose burned. Edward sat back and laughed, his arms resting on his thighs. I got another glimpse of his forearm tattoos. A small burn started to blaze between my legs, but I ignored it. My eyes narrowed at him, so he held his palms up in defense and looked away. I hit the cigarette again, but barely inhaled anything.

My nerves were calm, but my excitement was heightened. Suddenly, a new song sounded throughout the dark bar. A few girls from the other side of the room began to cheer. I frowned, but then recognized the song, too. It had been years since I had last heard it. I smiled widely and stubbed my cigarette out. I jumped up and reached for Edward. He flashed his crooked grin and took my hand without hesitation. I could feel the heat from his body on my back as I led us onto the dance floor.

We stopped in the center of the floor and I turned around to face him. His face still held his crooked grin, as I slowly stepped into his frame and placed my right hand in his left, and threw my other over his shoulder. His grin faded at my close proximity, which made me smile. His breath washed over my face even though the top of my head barely cleared his chin. His right hand slowly curled around my hip.

The crowd was feral around us, moving like animals in perfect harmony. Edward and I began to move along with them, matching the beat. Slowly, everything I had been dealing with over the past month, vanished. I shook my head back and forth and my hips ground into Edward's, while his nails dug into my hip. Still in my skirt and halter, I could move easily. The lyrics shouted through the speakers around us.

_Give me give me give me what you got got  
Cause I can't wait wait wait any more more more more  
Don't even talk about the consequence  
Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me  
And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think think  
Cause you're the only one who's on my mind_

It suited my mood and I wanted to scream the lyrics to Edward. Where had the Bella I had always been gone? She left with my worries, with my despair, and what was left was a wonderful feeling of essence. My left hand slid down over his shoulder to rest on his chest.

_I feel so untouched  
And I want you so much  
That I just can't resist you  
It's not enough to say that I miss you  
I feel so untouched right now  
Need you so much somehow  
I can't forget you  
Been going crazy from the moment I met you_

_Untouched  
And I need you so much_

Edward pulled me to him as close as I could get. His scent was acrylic paint, mixed with tobacco and cologne, and I inhaled as deeply as I could, never wanting to forget it. I looked up to see his hair shining against the lights, and his eyes hot with desire.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was my pain, but I wanted him even though I couldn't have him. I didn't want to need him. My mind came crashing back to me, and all the alcohol in my body started to seep out of my pores, allowing my brain to return to its rightful place. I was coherent, and I became afraid.

My hand that was pressing strongly against his chest, started to push and my arm slowly extended. Edward's desire turned to confusion, and then sadness. I was weak, but was I weak enough to give in? My chest constricted. I gasped for air and pushed away fully from him. Edward let me go, but his eyes were locked on me for good. I suddenly turned on my heel and pushed through the hot, jumping bodies.

Finally, I emerged onto the sidewalk, realizing I was still in Asheville. It was unfamiliar and a there was a chilly breeze that came over the mountains. It blew my hair around my face. I heard Edward behind me now, so I turned around to face him. Our stare was heated and intense. He glanced down to my feet, then all the way back up. My own eyes did the same, but I was struggling to keep my wits. I suddenly became angry with him.  
"Take me home," I whispered. Edward didn't protest. I heard his keys, and then his Jeep beeped, telling me that I could get in.

I hopped into the passenger seat and waited for Edward. My mind was reeling, and my mouth was ready to spit out words that I wasn't ready to say. My anger towards him was irrational, but just because our spouses were unfaithful, that didn't give us a free pass to commit adultery. Consequences would surely find us just as they would our spouses. I needed a release before I exploded. Edward got into the driver's seat and not a second passed after he closed his door before I spoke.

"What is going on between us, Edward?" I cried out. "Is it about getting back at them? Because they're doing it?!" His eyes were the deepest shade of green I had seen yet. They were almost frightening in their intensity. I shivered.

"No, because I can't help myself," he nearly growled. My eyes shot down to his mouth. I suddenly couldn't control my arms as they reached over the console and pounded into his chest. My anger was releasing itself in any way it could. I hit him again, and he grabbed my wrists. I jerked away from him.

"Are you done?" he asked, breathing heavily. I lunged toward him. He caught me by my face and crashed his lips to mine.

Somehow, Edward Masen tasted much better than he smelled. When our tongues met, it was like dynamite finally being able to explode. My release was him, and I felt everything. I wasn't married to another in this moment. I finally discovered what passion was because of his kiss. Our hands searched each other all over. I bit down on his lip, and he moaned, pulling my body half way over the center console. My hip ached and my back was twisted, but my arms held him around the neck tightly. It was like I was untouched until his touch found me, making everything new.

We continued to devour each other's mouths until suddenly, everything I was feeling became nothing but shame. My lips stopped moving along with Edward's. He felt the same way I did, so we sprang apart. Silence began to drown us. I wiped my mouth and moved my wild hair out of my face. My shirt was twisted and my lips were swollen. I could still taste him. I swallowed back tears.

Without a word, Edward put the key into the ignition and his engine roared to life. It was dark, and we were tired. Our hard breathing was in tandem.

"You shouldn't drive," I finally whispered. Edward dropped his head down over the steering wheel and sighed. "We've had too much to drink," I added. He lifted his head and looked down the street while I stared at my tangled hands.

"There," he said, pointing out his window. My eyes looked down the sidewalk to see a large, red motel sign. The word vacancy flashed beneath it.

I nodded my head and Edward looked over to me. His eyes spoke what his mouth could not. If we hadn't gotten to know each other this past day, I wouldn't have been able to read them. We both knew that feeling shame was much easier than feeling heartache. And so, we caved.

We got out of the Jeep and made our way down to the hotel quickly, hand in hand.

* * *

**Jules and I have been working over time, but thank her! She's great. YAY UPDATES! What did you think...? **

**For those of you who are upset over Bella's "weakness," give her a break. She'll get there. Trust me! Not every women is made of stone when the only life she has ever known, goes up in flames.**

**Also, Asheville NC has mountains, but obviously Jacob's "firm, the dance club, and the Marriott" have been fictionalized.**

**Find us on Facebook, "Stories by Greye Granger," for a teaser to Chapter 9 tomorrow!**

**Thank you for your continued love. xxoo**


	9. Chapter 9: Sinners

_Chapter Nine: Sinners_

Edward asked for one room, and I didn't stop him, but I did insist on paying half the cost. I was relieved he let me, because I didn't want to fight about that, too. We quickly collected our key and went in search of room 88. It was on the second floor, and with each step I took, my head thumped furiously.

What I was about to do felt like the most unforgivable sin. My desire for him was indescribable, and I couldn't ignore it even if I tried. Edward's own desire nearly dripped off of his back and onto me behind him.

My hands shook, but that was good. If they didn't, I would feel inhuman about it all. We stopped in front of door 88 and Edward hesitated for a brief second before unlocking it.

This was it.

I was ready.

I needed him.

He pushed the door open, and we nearly ran inside. I slammed it closed, and watched Edward closely. His fists were clenched. He tossed his car keys along with the room key onto the nearby desk where an old television sat. I waited, and bit down on my bottom lip until finally, he turned to face me. He opened his mouth to speak, but I stopped him.

"Don't ask if I'm sure," I whispered. " Because I don't know."

"I was going to say that I don't have a condom," he replied awkwardly. "I'm clean, its just...you know, in case of..." he trailed off quietly, but I knew what he was trying to say. My cheeks heated, and I looked to the ground, still chewing on my lip.

"I can't have children," I choked. I could hear Edward's breathing hitch slightly.

"Bella, I'm so-"

"It's okay," I assured. "I don't want to talk about that now," I said, looking back up to him. I pulled my hair around to one side of my shoulder and tried to speak to him through my eyes.

Then, with one last look in his eyes, I saw my own desire mirrored back at me, and that was it. We instantly closed the gap between us, crashing against each other hard and loud like thunder. Our hands gripped and groped and stroked all over. My knees were weak and my heart nearly beat out of my chest.

Edward walked us backward until I collided with a wall. I was thankful for the support. My fingers gripped his hair and yanked. His breath was hot in my mouth and his hands quickly traveled down my torso. One of them stopped and cupped my breast. I couldn't suppress my moan, and my hands shot down to the button on his jeans, unfastening it hastily.

Edward's hands found my hips and shot beneath me, raising me off of the ground. I mentally thanked Rosalie for suggesting I wear a skirt. My scrawny legs wrapped around his waist, while my hands still fiddled with his jeans. Finally, I had freed him from the confines of his boxers. He growled when I stroked his length and moved his mouth to my neck.

My eyes shot open when he bit down on my exposed flesh, and I pulled his hair again. The light of our motel room was dim and ominous. I realized that we could be on the bed, but this was quicker. Edward's hand went down between my legs and shoved my underwear to the side. I gasped in surprise, but I didn't blush.

All of my normal emotions and inhibitions regarding sex had vanished. All there was, was Edward. Suddenly, he was inside me, filling me like no other. It was all I had wanted, and now it was happening. I cried out in pleasure and Edward kissed my neck.

We didn't have enough air in our lungs to kiss anymore, but he kept up a punishing rhythm. My shoulder blades banged against the thin motel wall again and again, so I tightened my legs around his waist, and dropped my head to his shoulder. I allowed my hands to slowly travel up his shirt and let my nails scratch into his lower back.

His thrusting was hard and fast, and my mind was going to set me free, soon.

"Edward," I breathed raggedly. His pounding was hitting me in just the right spot each time, and before he could say anything back to me, I came around him. I cried out his name, and it felt more glorious to say than ever before. With one more thrust, he filled me with his own orgasm.

Finally, we collapsed around one another exhausted. Edward's head dropped to my neck and I tried to pace my own breathing with his. He peeled us off of the wall and we spun around to land on the bed. I giggled nervously, coming down from our 'wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am' moment, and suddenly crashing back down to reality, still wrapped around him. We laid together quietly for a long time before untangling ourselves.

My legs ached, and I was sore from the hurried, but passionate sex. It was a good feeling.

"I'm gonna shower," I said. He smiled.

"Okay. There's a minibar we can ravage when you get out." I laughed and pushed his shoulder before jumping off the bed. I could feel his eyes on me as I went to the bathroom.

* * *

After my quick shower, I found myself in front of the bathroom mirror. I appeared different on the outside, but I knew that I was just the same on the inside. I was waiting for the agony of shame to return to me, but it had not.

Why?

I decided to ignore it, and think of this place with Edward as a safe zone. It was sacred. Maybe it would even become ground zero for us.

Coming back into the main room, I saw Edward sitting on the edge of the bed shirtless, a small drink in hand, and watching Sports Center. I giggled.

"An artists that likes sports?" I scoffed playfully

"I watch this for the hot news anchor," he lied. His crooked grin shined happily back at me. I rolled my eyes and took a seat on the bed wrapped in the motel robe. My hair fell long and heavy, still drying from my shower. He quickly leaned in and kissed my cheek, so I blushed.

"You smell good," he commented. I picked at a strand of my hair.

"Thanks," I whispered. My eyes looked down to his rib cage.

"Why a tree?" I asked, touching the ink that was embedded deep into his skin.

He shrugged, "I love trees. They symbolize life, and death."

"It's beautiful," I said.

"I drew it myself," he stated proudly.

"I'd like to see some of your paintings."

"You will," he answered matter of fact. My insides began to flutter about at the thought.

* * *

A while later we had gotten cozy in the king sized bed with drinks and chips from the vending machine down stairs in the lobby. It was a perfect night, and I couldn't help wanting to know more about Edward. He laid on a pillow with his arm behind his head. I was next to him on my stomach staring at his arm tattoos.

"Are you religious, Edward?" I asked. His eyes saw what I was looking at.

"In a sense," he replied.

"What verses are these?" I asked, skimming a finger over his forearm.

"Psalm 143 tells of God's mercy. Psalm 147 is my favorite. It's about love and heartache." I leaned up and kissed his tattoo softly. Edward blushed.

"Are you religious?" he asked. I frowned.

"I used to be."

"What changed?" I took a deep breath. Edward deserved to know this about me. Maybe it would explain some things.

"I suffered two miscarriages a couple years ago," I whispered. His head shot over to see me fully. I didn't look into his eyes, instead staring down at his tattoo. "We were so excited to have kids, but when I miscarried, Jacob couldn't handle it. He was sad at first, but then grew mad at me, and didn't want to try again," I finished sadly. "I could tell he felt like it was my fault." Tears were slowly running down my cheeks. Edward reached over and wiped them away.

"It wasn't your fault, Bella. Never give up on a miracle," he said. I closed my eyes and let him take me in his arms to grieve over my losses. I had never cried over them before until now.

"I don't know why God took them," I cried. Edward shushed me softly and kissed my head.

"I don't know why such things happen, but Psalm 147 says that God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." I cried harder, but it felt good. I was releasing things that had been holding me back from living for a long time. I was glad for Edward to know, and happy that he didn't blame me for it like my husband had, but mostly, it just felt good to be held and comforted.

* * *

We had switched the sports channel to a music station. Each new song that spilled throughout the room reminded me of Edward in some way or another. He was calm and serene, and it rubbed off onto me after my crying jag. Then, I watched as his eyebrows crossed in pain. I frowned and waited patiently for him to speak.

"Will you divorce her?" I suddenly asked quietly when he didn't say anything. All of my lost emotions instantly flooded back into me. My chest clenched tight, and his emerald eyes looked over to me.

"Don't do this," he whispered. "I don't care about them. Right now, it's just you and me. I don't want it to be four of us every time."

"Every time?" I asked bewildered.

Was he insinuating having an affair? I couldn't do that. But then, I realized that we already were. He shrugged.

"Like I told you before, Edward, if people hear of your divorce it's gossip. When people hear about mine, it's in the newspapers."

Edward groaned and sat up. My eyes stared at his back.

"Where would I go, huh? Would I start some job making minimum wage?" I asked worriedly.

"You still love him," he said. Venom laced his words. I shivered, and realized that I wasn't sure if I loved Jacob anymore or not.

"Do you still love her?" I countered. He sighed and ran his long fingers through his hair.

"I don't want to," he replied, defeated. I sat up and placed a hand on his back.

"I don't want to either," I whispered. Edward's head snapped my way. His eyes pierced mine like spears. He was searching for something in them, something he knew he wouldn't find because I couldn't fix him any more than he could fix me. It was devastating.

"Let's just sleep," he nearly begged. "I don't want to face any of it until tomorrow, please," he voiced quietly. I nodded slowly and we laid back down together.

I fit into the crook of his arm like it was made for me. He held me close and smelled my hair, then kissed my head. I sighed in contentment, and all of my fears left me again. They would return tomorrow, but I could wait until then. It felt so right to be falling asleep with Edward, but I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever sleep soundly again. What would be the debt we now had to pay for our sin?

* * *

**And so here it is! Some of you may be upset that they had sex, and that is okay, but hey, no one is perfect. Hang tight, and see where it all leads to :)**

**Thank you Jules and Beffers87. Also a special thank you to my dear friend Katalina, because if not for her, I wouldn't still have the courage to write anymore.**

**Your continued love on this story will never go unnoticed! Thank you!**


	10. Chapter 10: Confrontation

Chapter Ten: Confrontation

_We think we know the ones we love,_  
_But everyone keeps secrets._

Morning had come quickly, and I was awake before Edward. I enjoyed watching him sleep and wondered what he dreamt about. I turned on the television and was halfway through an episode of Criminal Minds when he slowly started to wake up. Suddenly, I became nervous and shy. It seemed as if the night before had only been a dream of mine. I dressed before he could see me naked, and while he was showering, I text Rosalie, demanding an immediate lunch date as soon as I returned to Charleston. Instead of texting back, she called me.

"Well?" she demanded. I sighed and started walking down to the hotel lobby. It was early morning, and the view of the Appalachians was breathtaking. They really were purple and majestic.

"I did what you're thinking," I whined. Rosalie squealed in excitement. I groaned.

"How do you feel?"

"Honestly? Like a slut." I sighed. "I don't know what to think, or how I feel about any of it."

"It'll come to you. Was it good sex?" She asked dutifully, as if she asked someone this every day.

"Please let me feel bad about this," I snapped. Rosalie chuckled.

"Okay, sorry. We can talk about it over lunch. I'm just happy for some reason. Did you see Jacob?"  
"Yeah," I replied sadly. "Through the windows at the hotel. I have no doubt in my mind about their affair, not that I ever really did."

"I'm sorry, babe. But at least you know. I'm glad you went." I smiled and thought about Edward.

"Me too."

* * *

After getting two coffees from the lobby, I came back to room 88 and found Edward dressing quickly. I frowned, and set his coffee down in front of him on the table. I was unaware that apparently we were in some sort of rush.

"Is that for me?" he asked. I nodded. "Thanks," he gushed, reaching for the cup hastily.

"I'm sorry I'm not ready yet," I told him. "I didn't know we had to get back right away."

"Oh," he replied after swallowing his coffee, "I'm not going back yet. Did you want to leave?" I shook my head slowly and frowned, obviously confused.  
"I'm going to confront them," he said easily. My eyes grew wide in shock.

"Why?" I whispered. Edward shrugged and finished putting on his shoes.

"Because that's what I came here to do?"

"But-" I trailed off, unable to think of a logical reply. I didn't understand his obsession with this, much like he didn't understand mine. I swallowed hard.

"We saw them last night," I finally said.

"Yeah, and that showed us the truth, but didn't give us any evidence. You kind of took off before I could do anything." He shrugged, and drank more coffee. I was happy that he came after me last night, that he chose me over confronting them, but I thought all of this could be over now. My mind reeled back to sex with Edward, and wondered why I wasn't racked with shame yet.

"Look, about last night," I hedged. I blushed and looked down to my black coffee. Edward stood up and came to stand in front of me. I didn't look at him, but he made me by placing his finger beneath my chin and tilting my head up. His green eyes were warm and soft.

"It was perfect, Bella," he whispered. My shoulders eased and I nodded. He leaned down and kissed my lips softly. Heat started to blaze within me. Edward stepped away and threw his shirt on. "We can talk about things on the ride home." I nodded, and was both excited and scared about what that conversation could bring forth.

"So, are you coming?" I frowned. Fear was bubbling in my stomach now. I didn't really want to go, because I didn't need to see what Edward did. Part of me wanted to go, though, so I nodded. I ignored the reluctance and bad feeling that I had inside. We both knew there wouldn't be a good outcome in doing this.

* * *

The Mariott was quiet when we arrived. It was only eight in the morning, and Edward knew that Tanya always slept in on the weekends. I was having a difficult time breathing, but I didn't tell Edward. The fear was slowly choking me. I knew my husband was cheating, so what else was there to fear?  
Edward didn't have to lie to the woman behind the front desk, because he was Tanya's rightful husband. The old lady gave us a key, and warned us that Tanya had been seen taking a man to her room. I looked to her with sad eyes, and she sighed lightly. I could feel her pity. Edward thanked her, then stalked down the halls of the hotel without looking back to me. He was a man on a mission, and as soon as he came to the door that would lead us to the end, he paused. I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the door.

"This is stupid, Edward! Was what we saw last night not enough for you?" I hissed.

"I need evidence, and so do you. I just have to do this," he whispered. His eyes were dark. "Now, you're either with me or not. You're welcome to leave." I frowned, my heart beginning to ache. I didn't want to barge in and see my husband with another woman, but even worse, I didn't want to be away from Edward, so I stayed. He nodded, and walked back to room 117.

I stood next to him in silence, my body shaking with uncertainty, until I thought about Jacob. Maybe if I caught him red handed, he wouldn't put up a fight in a divorce. I may even get out unscathed, and with a little money to support myself until I figured out a new way to live. Edward took a deep breath, then quickly swiped the card key, and burst into the room. I followed hesitantly. It was silent inside, not even the sound of a snore. I frowned as we rounded the corner to find a large king sized bed empty. The comforter had been removed, and the sheets were twisted and tangled.

"Where-" I started in a whisper, but Edward hushed me. He pointed toward a closed door. The faint sound of water turning off caught my attention. I felt dizzy, so I stumbled back to a chair by the table and sat down. I saw Jacob's suit from the previous night on the floor. I picked up his jacket and held it tightly. Something was weighing the jacket down, so I searched the pockets. I found nothing until reaching into the inside coat pocket. I felt velvet, and nearly gasped. Edward came and stood next to me as he waited anxiously for his wife to emerge from the bathroom.

I heard Tanya giggle. Anger was slowly beginning to take over the fear within me. I took out the box from the pocket, but didn't open it. I gasped and showed the little, black velvet box to Edward. He growled under his breath, then pinched the bridge of his nose. We both knew what was inside, but I couldn't open it. I glanced down at my own wedding ring, a simple, white gold band that had sat on my finger for almost a decade.  
I suddenly stood up, dropping the jacket and the ring box, unable to handle anything anymore. I started to walk past Edward, but he grabbed my arm in passing just as the bathroom door opened. Laughter flooded into the space, then stopped abruptly. I turned to see Tanya, her hair wrapped in a towel, dressed in a robe, and my husband's arms wrapped around her. Jacob's chest was bare, but a towel hung from his waist.

"Edward!" Tanya gasped.

"Bella?" Jacob was frowning.

"What are you doing?!" Edward yelled. Jacob winced, like me, but Tanya didn't. Did he yell at her a lot? Jacob stepped around Tanya.

"Bella, I didn't mean for you to find out this way," he said shakily. Edward let go of my arm, and unlike that time on the street, I didn't need him to hold me steady. Anger was doing a good job at that.

"Oh, please," Edward whined, rolling his eyes. "She's not an idiot."

"Apparently, he thinks I am. Is there a good way to find out that your husband has been cheating on you?" I snapped. Tanya stepped further into the room.

"Look, me and Jake-"

"Jacob," I yelled. "His name is Jacob. And for the record, he hates being called Jake." Tanya frowned and looked at my husband. He didn't deny it, instead, shrugging. I took satisfaction in seeing Tanya huff. She stepped over to Edward, and placed a small manicured hand on his chest.

"You know that we have been over for a long time," she whispered. Edward grabbed her hand, and pushed her away from him slowly.

"No, actually, I didn't know that."

"Then why are you even here?"

"I needed my proof."

"Proof?" Jacob snorted. My head snapped over to him.

"Yeah, so the bitch wouldn't take everything I have away from me."

"That's what a prenup is for, buddy," Jacob teased. Edward's fists tightened.

"How about I just go down to the news station in Charleston," Edward threatened. Jacob's face fell as serious as mine.

"That would be a bad idea, even for you," Jacob seethed. Tanya stepped in between her husband, and her lover.

"Alright, enough!" she yelled. "You caught us. But we can't change how we feel."

"How you feel?" I asked. Tanya turned to Jacob with big adoring eyes.

"I love him." Jacob smiled at her. My insides twisted, and Edward chuckled, unamused.

"How long?" I whispered. Everyone turned to look at me, but no one answered. I looked at Jacob. "How long have you two been seeing each other?" I asked with a bit more force. Jacob looked to the ground.

"Three months," Tanya stated proudly. Sanity washed over me. I wasn't crazy, even now.

"You have no fucking shame, do you?" Edward snapped. Tanya shrugged. "This is not who I married."

"People change, Edward."

"I just want to know why, Jacob, after everything we have been through. What did I do?" My husband shrugged and looked back to the ground.

"You didn't do anything, Bella," Edward assured. I tried to smile, but I was still intent on a reply from Jacob.

"Jacob!"

"It's been over for years, Bella. You can't deny that. I don't want what you want, and you trapped me into thinking I did."

"Trapped you?" I scoffed.

"I don't want kids with you! I don't want that life...with you."

"You don't want our life," I corrected. "But you did once upon a time, and instead of keeping me, you should have divorced me, so that I could have a life again."

"It isn't much of a life," he whispered.

"Bullshit! It was once! We could have worked it out!"

"No, babe. I don't love you." I waited for my heart to ache, but it didn't. All I felt was emptiness. "And you don't love me," he added. I couldn't deny him, because now I knew the truth for myself; that I felt no love for him anymore.

"You're a demeaning asshole," Edward told him. Jacob narrowed his eyes.

"Wait, how did you two even start this? You've met one time and that was only a few days ago," Jacob said. Edward and I exchanged glances. Tanya began to chuckle and sat down on the bed.

"Yeah, with no thanks to you. That dinner was planned," Edward said.

"Actually, it wasn't," Jacob countered.

"Then why did we go out?" I asked.

"One last try for us? To see if anything was still there?" he offered in reply. "But I never thought this would come of it," Jacob finished, waving a hand between me and Edward.

"This is rich," Tanya said between laughs. "We're switching spouses."

"What? Bella with him?" Jacob scoffed in disbelief as he looked Edward up and down.

"What the fuck does that mean?" I demanded.

"You don't want tattoos, old skater shoes and now three failed marriages between the two of you, do you?" Jacob laughed.

"You don't know what I want!" I yelled. I stepped forward, but Edward stopped me.

"Oh, but I do. Tell her Edward," Jacob sneered, spitting Edward's name out like it was poisonous. I looked at Edward, confused. He didn't speak.

"He hates kids, and he marries women with money! His last wife went bankrupt, so he divorced her," Jacob boomed, still laughing.

"What did you tell him?" Edward asked Tanya angrily. Apparently he didn't care about what Jacob thought of him, but now I was confused. Edward turned to me.

"That's not true," he whispered. My heart was being ripped in a thousand different directions. I couldn't hold onto one thought long enough. Jacob told Tanya about my past, too?

"Ever wonder why he can't keep women around, Bella?" Tanya asked. She was smirking. I wanted to slap her.

"Fuck you," Edward spat. "How serious can this affair even be?" I looked back down to the ring box and sighed in defeat.

"Serious enough," I whispered. Edward's eyes followed mine. He picked up the ring box and threw it to Jacob.

"What is that?" Tanya asked with wide eyes, turning to Jacob. She smiled.

"What do you think?" Edward spat in disgust. Jacob blushed faintly and looked down to the ring box. Tanya's soft expression shifted back to irritation.

"What does any of this even matter, now? You caught us, so now we can all end this," Tanya said, taking Jacob's hand. My stomach was nauseous.

"I'll call Emmett," I said quietly.

"I already did," Jacob snapped.

"What?"

"I drew up the papers a couple weeks ago, and when I get back Monday, we can meet with him. I was just waiting on the right time to tell you."

"The right time?" I yelled, stepping towards him. Jacob winced. "I've done nothing wrong to you, Jacob! I gave you my life, and you give me this shit? You're pathetic, and I hate you. I fucking hate you," I whispered, tears streaming down my face. I turned to Tanya. "Good luck trying to satisfy him." I turned on my heel and started walking out of the hotel room.

"Oh, but I do already!" Tanya yelled to my back. I didn't stop. I ran out of the hotel, ignoring the front desk woman with her look of pity, and welcomed the sunshine and crisp air. I didn't know where to go, and I was still furious. I started walking back towards the motel I had shared with Edward. My mind was reeling and I desperately wanted to scream at no one, and everyone.

Jacob didn't give a shit about me, and I didn't know what to think about Edward anymore. I didn't know what or who to believe, so I started to hate myself for starting all of this. I turned around to see Edward running up to me. I stopped walking. He had a sick smirk on his face.

"Happy now?" I fumed. His face fell, but he held up his iPhone.

"I got my proof. Snapped a picture of them on my way out. Pissed Jacob off bad."

"Is this all some sort of game to you?" I screamed. A couple across the street eyed us suspiciously, but I didn't care. "This is my life! Your life!"

"Hey, you came to me, remember?" he defended.

"Oh, so you used me, is that it? To get back at your slutty wife?"

"You know that's not true, Bella." I put a hand on my hip and narrowed my eyes.

"Actually, I don't know, Edward. If you needed all this proof, why the fuck didn't you sign a prenup?"

"Because I loved her!" he screamed. I winced and lowered my hand back down to my side. Suddenly I felt as slutty as his wife. In the end, I was no better than she was. I lowered my head in defeat and took a steadying breath.

"I don't want to fight with you," Edward said softly. "And I don't want to lose you, too." My head snapped up. His soft green eyes had lost their darkness and were bright with truth. He smiled softly. I couldn't contain my urge all of a sudden, so I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around his torso tightly.

I breathed in his scent, and instantly felt better when his arms wrapped around me in return. We hugged on a sidewalk in Asheville, slowly letting all of our hurt and anger fall away from us. Hopefully, it would stay here and not follow us back home.  
Edward's body was still shaking from all of the tension and anger. I released him, but kept his hand.

"Lets get some breakfast. We should calm down before we head back home." Edward smiled, then nodded.

* * *

**Quote by Debra J. Fisher/Aaron Hotchner Criminal Minds season 4, episode 12: Soul Mates**

**CONFRONTATION! Yay? Nay? I hope you enjoyed that...sorry to have kept you all waiting...haha!**

**Thanks to Jules for making this story sound so much better, and to Beffers for her nonstop encouragement in everything I think!**

**I can't wait for you all to see what happens next.**

**-G**


	11. Chapter 11: Wonderwall

_Chapter Eleven: Wonderwall_

Edward and I found a small coffee shop downtown, across from our hotel. It was quiet and unpopulated, which was why I chose it. I was tired of noise, even though it was mostly my own thoughts screaming at me. We caught our spouses red-handed, but I didn't feel any stronger in my situation because now, I needed to think of what I was going to do; how I was going to start my divorce.

Edward was calmer now, but I could almost hear his relentless thinking. He was still a little angry, and I wondered when his pain would set in. My own pain was beginning to slip away, along with my anger. I just felt tired and used now; so I was more than ready for it all to be over. Any love that had remained for Jacob was left in that hotel room. He would always have a piece of me, a piece of my shattered heart. It was hard to admit that my marriage was over, but I needed to face reality, and so did Edward.

We ordered light, neither of us actually hungry. I sipped my coffee and watched him closely across the table as he stared out the window. It was a bright sunny day in Asheville, but I was beginning to miss home, which surprised me. Maybe I just missed the ocean. She was the only one who fully understood my emotions.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered, not looking to me. "For getting so crazy about all of this."

I shrugged. "It's understandable. I'm just ready to move forward now." Edward smiled softly.

"I am, too. Can I ask you something?" I nodded. "What did you want in your life with him?" I sighed, and didn't even have to think about it, because at one time it was all I ever thought about.

"Normalcy. My childhood was chaotic, and I never had a true family. Jacob offered me that: the grand house, the kids, the security. I felt content in wanting all of that."

"And what do you want now?" I looked down at my hands, and after a moment, I smiled.

"Passion," I said. Edward smiled warmly. "I want madness, uncertainty, and obsession. I want everything he never gave me; everything I never went after for myself."

"That sounds like a good life," he whispered.

"What do you want?"

"Happiness," he breathed. My heart lurched. His brokenness was shining through his thick walls like a searchlight, and now he seemed weaker than I was. He shook his head, shaking every bad thought away, and looked back out the window.

"Fuck them." I chuckled and reached for his hand across the table. He took it, and squeezed.

"Fuck them," I agreed.

We had been driving south for two hours until traffic came to a standstill. It was bumper to bumper and hadn't moved in twenty minutes. Edward assumed it was road work, or an accident. I wasn't complaining, because the closer we got to Charleston, the more my stomach ached. I was thankful that it was only Saturday, and that I would have all of Sunday to prepare myself for Jacob's return on Monday.  
The radio was playing low and Edward was smoking a cigarette, resting his elbow on his raised knee cap. He was a sight to behold, and I caught myself staring at him more often than I cared to admit. He smiled over to me then frowned. Every time I looked at his mouth, I remembered his kiss, and his soft biting. I blushed. We hadn't really discussed what had happened between us, and we agreed that we would after breakfast.

"So," I hedged. He puffed his cigarette.

"I don't regret it," he blurted. I frowned.

"Well neither do I," I said quickly.

Wait, did I? My mind searched for the truth.

"Good," he replied. His crooked grin was back. "And I haven't had sex with Tanya in well over two months." I smiled.

"Is it crazy of me to be happy about that?" Edward shook his head slowly.

"I wouldn't have done anything with you, if she and I weren't over. I wouldn't betray you like that," he whispered. My heart swelled, and ached, and I wanted to lunge over the center console and kiss him all over, but I suppressed my urge.

"But, I thought you said-"

"We have been fighting for months and months. Finally, I got sick of her wanting sex from me after we fought, so I stopped."

"Was she mad?"

"She accused me of having an affair," he replied with a humorless laugh. I cringed slightly. "But she stopped saying that about two months ago. I should've taken the hint."

"I'm so tired of us hurting over them, Edward."

"Me too. Lets stop." He smiled lightly.

"So, where do we go from here?" I asked curiously. I was both eager for and dreading his reply.

"Where do you want it to go?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. He took a few more drags of his cigarette. "Do you?"

"Honestly?" I nodded to him slowly. Edward sighed and looked out the window at the green hillsides that lined the interstate. My stomach was in knots while I waited for him to speak.

"Can it really go anywhere from here yet?"

"I suppose not," I replied sadly.  
"Right now, it can't," he clarified quietly. "We have a lot to go through still, but I want us to stay in touch." That gave me a small sense of hope, but didn't really answer any of my questions. I looked out the passenger window and forced all of my doubts away for now. Edward was right. Nothing could come of us at this point in time. There was too much ahead of us that still needed to be handled.

"Where are your parents?" he asked, changing topics.

I shrugged. "Parent," I corrected. His face fell slightly. "My mom, Renee, lives in Raleigh. She moved there after I got married. Dad split when I was seven."

"I'm sorry," he replied sincerely.

"S'okay. Mom was a heavy drinker after my dad left. Without him, she didn't know how to be. I guess that's my fear with Jacob, too. Not having a dad made me cling to him so hard," I said, clenching my fists. "I don't really know how live without him."

"His loss," Edward said strongly. "And I know that you will have a better life without Jacob." I smiled and looked down to my lap.

"What about your parents?"

"Carlisle and Esme moved to Virginia a few years ago. I would have gone, too, but my paintings started selling so well in Charleston. They're horse breeders."

"That's nice," I said.

He nodded. "I love it. I need to visit them again soon. You said Jacob's dad was in politics?"

"Congress," I groaned. "And his mom, Sue, is such a trophy wife." Edward squinted his face in disgust. "What about Tanya's parents?"

"They suck," he said laughing, after he flicked his cigarette out.

"Don't all in-laws?" I countered. He smiled. Then, an old familiar song quietly came through the speakers of his Jeep Wrangler. Edward and I both looked to each other at the same time. We smiled widely, and Edward reached to turn the volume up.

I felt silly and carefree as Edward and I started to sing along to the song by Oasis. We laughed between each word.

_Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you_  
_By now you should__'__ve__somehow realized what you gotta do_  
_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

I almost choked on the last sentence, but Edward kept his voice strong and stared at me the entire time he sang. It somehow gave me courage, and I picked it back up.

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding_  
_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_  
_There are many things that I would like to say to you_  
_But I don't know how_

He slowly reached over and grabbed my hand. He brought it to his mouth, his breath washing over my skin, and I shivered. He kissed my hand and we sang the chorus once more.

_Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me_  
_And after all, you're my wonderwall_

The song slowly started to fade away and the traffic began to move. Edward looked back to the road and repositioned his feet, but he didn't release my hand. He put the Jeep in drive, and eased forward. I clasped his hand tightly and looked ahead.

After a few minutes of slow moving, we finally saw what was holding everyone up. A large tanker truck had crashed over the median, taking out two other vehicles with it. One of the small cars was completely crushed into the tanker's load and the other car was burned to a crisp; nothing but black metal. My heart began to ache for whoever was hurt and my stomach burned. The accident was gruesome, and an ambulance sped away from the scene with its sirens blaring bright blue and red. As its whistle slowly faded away, I looked over to Edward and studied his beautiful face intently, just in case I would never get to see him again in such a way. He looked back to the road ahead, and drove us home safely.

My house was dark and empty when I entered it. Edward carried my small duffel bag into the foyer. I threw my keys onto the nearby table and spun around to face him, my eyes already filled with tears. My arms wrapped around his neck tightly. Edward buried his head in my hair and circled his arms around my waist. I wanted to tell him that I would miss him, that I was afraid of never feeling what I felt with him ever again, but my mouth wouldn't let me. Instead, I cried softly into his shoulder.

He rubbed my back, and slowly pulled away. I swiped at my tears, embarrassed. He leaned down and kissed my lips softly, only shattering my heart more. I let go of his hand, and we walked back to the door. He paused, and turned to face me with his crooked grin.

"I'll be seeing you, Bella," he said. I smiled through my tears and giggled.

"See you," I replied.

And then, he was gone. The house was quiet. I smiled at the door for a long time before I began collecting myself.

As twilight descended later that dayI had done next to nothing. I finally unloaded my duffel, showered, and was making soup in the kitchen with a boomboxplaying next to me. My mind thought of Jacob's return, but mostly of Edward. I couldn't force him away. For the first time in my life, I was split two ways. I had two men, but then I realized, I didn't truly have either one of them. I couldn't call them mine. Then, I wondered idly what Jacob could be doing. He had decided to stay in Asheville longer with Tanya, which I wasn't exactly complaining about, but the image of the two of them together while I sat here alone wouldn't leave my mind.

I jumped in surprise, almost spilling my soup when I heard a knock on my door. I laid the ladle down, and found Rosalie on my stoop. I grinned widely and hugged her.

"I couldn't wait," she gushed. "You have to tell me everything." I nodded, and led her into the kitchen. I shared my soup with Rose, and we took a seat at the table.

I watched as my best friend's face shifted from one emotion to the next with each new sentence I spouted. When I finished, I felt relieved to have her know. Rosalie sighed and sat back in her chair.

"Whoa."

"Yeah."

"So, the sex was good?"

"How is that the first thing you always ask?" Rose smiled and shrugged. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, it was...good." Rose beamed proudly.

"I know you didn't exactly want to see Jacob with that bitch, but I'm glad you did. Now you know, and you'll have that image in your head when you divorce him. It will help keep you going."

"I suppose. I just want it over with. I called Emmett and left him a message."

"Emmett?"

"Our lawyer. Apparently, Jacob already had divorce papers drawn up, but I'm not leaving without something. If I have to fight, I will." I stood up and took my bowl to the sink. I sucked in a deep breath.

"What an ass," she snapped. "Do you think anything will come of you and Edward?" I sighed, and thought back to our previous conversations.

"Maybe? No...I hope so," I decided. "I can't explain it, because even I don't fully understand it, but he makes me feel something that I never felt with Jacob."

"Happy?"

"Not necessarily," I countered. "I was happy with Jacob once, I really was. But with Edward...I feel more secure, and I feel like I care about myself and what I want when I'm with him. In my marriage, I was so intent on always pleasing Jacob."

"Do you think Edward feels the same way about you?" I shrugged.

"Sometimes I think he does, and other times, I'm not sure.

My phone rang from the counter, startling us. Expecting Jacob, I was surprised to see that it was Edward. I grinned and shushed Rosalie who was giggling at my smile.

"Hi," I breathed. Edward's breath was harder than usual.

"Is Jacob home?" he asked. I frowned.

"No, actually, he isn't yet." I saw Rosalie frown and come stand beside me.

He sighed. "Neither is Tanya." He sounded almost frantic. "I wouldn't wonder, but she texted me earlier saying she would be by this afternoon to get some of her things."

"Oh."

"And it's evening now." Then a loud and hard knock sounded on my front door.

"That must be him knocking," I said in a now hushed voice. "I bet he forgot his key." I left the sink and started towards the front door slowly. I peered to the left, and saw someone much too tall to be my husband.

"Oh, okay, good. I'll let you go, then," he replied sadly. I hesitated on the line.

"No, wait," I nearly snapped. "It's not him. Hold on."

I ripped the door open, and my face fell instantly when I saw a young Sheriff standing before me. I recognized his face from town meetings held in the past. He tipped his head and rested a hand on his holster. My stomach fell away from me.

"Yes?" I croaked.

"Mrs. Black?" The man's voice was deep. He had short dark hair and strong facial features. I nodded slowly, my hand clutching to my iPhone, to Edward, for support. The cop's face fell and his eyes couldn't find mine for a moment. I waited for what felt like an eternity for him to tell me what I already knew. My free hand flew to my mouth. The man cleared his throat, but all of his words were silent. Edward was calling my name from the other end of the call, but not even he could bring me back now.  
Finally, he too heard the news that the Sheriff had traveled to tell, and then the line went dead. I dropped my phone to the ground, causing the glass screen to shatter around me. I felt Rosalie's hand taking mine firmly, as my eyes stared blankly out at the ocean. I was drowning, and no one could save me from that.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_  
_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_  
_And I held your hand through all of these years_  
_But you still have_  
_All of me_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_  
_But though you're still with me_  
_I've been alone all along_

* * *

**A/N- **

**Dun dun duuuuuun...**

**So how you like them apples?**

**Hey everyone! This is Beffers87 and I have taken over for the night! *evin grin* LOL **

**Greye let me post this chapter so I could officially thank you all for reading! You guys are awesome! If you haven't yet, be sure to check out the group! We'd love to see you there! **

**And I'd also like to thank Greye and Jules for being two of the most awesome women I've ever known! Thank you guys for letting me take this amazing journey with you! **

**I love each and every one of you for real! **

**-Bethany**


	12. Chapter 12: My Immortal

_Chapter Twelve: My Immortal_

There are people who say that everyone handles a tragedy in her own way, but I was still deciding on whether or not I was handling mine at all.

How had this become my life?

This wasn't the way things were supposed to end.

My husband was dead. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone, regardless of the unfaithfulness in our marriage. I was a widow, and it hurt even more than being a divorcèe would have.

Tanya Masen and Jacob Black died in a car accident. The very accident that my lover and I had witnessed the outcome of on our way home from Asheville. What sick and twisted foreshadowing God had placed before us.  
Was that our payment for the sins we had committed?

Sometimes I wondered why it wasn't Edward and I who died instead. What was our reason for being allowed to stay alive? We weren't any better than Tanya and Jacob. The funerals for our deceased were held two days apart. Half the town was in attendance to Jacob's. It was excruciating to plan such an event; but luckily, his overbearing mother did most of it. She didn't shed a single tear, which was typical of the fake woman that she had always been.

My own mother came down for one day, but she didn't stay with me. But at least she had stayed sober for most of the time. I thought about attending Tanya's funeral, but what good would it do? It was hard enough dragging myself out of bed to shower and eat, let alone dress for a wake and attend my own spouse's funeral.

I had somehow managed to divert all calls from Emmett until now. I wasn't ready to discuss Jacob's will, but he was coming over today. At least Rosalie would be with me since Jacob's parents had to be here, too. Although, sadly I had begun to push her away, too. I really did feel like a zombie in my own life.

I sat on the couch in the foyer as Rosalie made us coffee. She came into the room with a tray and a few cups while we waited for people to arrive. She poured my coffee and added cream.

"Thanks," I said, taking the cup and drinking the hot liquid. Rose sat down next to me and sighed lightly.

"Bella," Rose began hesitantly.

"I'm all right," I assured her.

"You're lying," she snapped. I looked to her in surprise then sighed.

"I don't know how to feel," I whispered. "I went from complete anger and agony over his betrayal, to mourning his death."

"I know, and I can't imagine how awful that must be, but you can't lose yourself. No more drinking all day. You have to shower, and you have to stop blaming yourself."

I shrugged. "It's easier than facing the truth of it all: that he's dead, and never coming back." Rosalie sipped her coffee quietly for a moment. I studied her appearance. She looked different. Instead of her usual skimpy clothes, she wore black slacks, a nice pink blouse, and her hair was curled.

"You look nice," I commented softly. Rosalie smiled.

"I had a meeting today with a guy from Belk."

"The store?" I asked excitedly. She nodded quickly.

"They're interested in my sketches," she beamed. I smiled for the first time in days

"That's so great, Rosie! I'm proud of you." I groaned. "I can't believe I was too wrapped up in myself to notice or ask."

"It's fine, Bella," she soothed, patting my knee.

"No, it's not. I know how long you've wanted to sell your clothing line there, so I know how important this is for you. I'll get better," I promised.

"I know that," she replied smiling. "Stop drinking," she said again. I nodded. "I mean it, Bella."

"I will." And I would. If not for myself, then for my best friend. She was all I had left in this life.

"Have you heard from Edward?" she asked quietly. I sipped more coffee, then sighed. Hearing his name out loud was almost painful. I felt like that made him real, and if he was real, then so were the memories I had with him.

"Sort of."

"It's only been a couple of weeks."

"It's been me," I whispered. "I haven't returned his calls or texts." Rosalie's frown deepened.

"Why not?"

"Shame?" I offered with a shrug. "Confusion? I really don't know."  
"Do you miss him?" After a moment, I nodded slowly. Edward had been there for me since day one of this horrid journey, and now I had left him in the dark. That hurt more than anything else.

"Call him."

"Soon," I whispered. I needed more time to figure out what to say, and how to apologize for cutting him off so abruptly. If anything, we needed each other now more than ever.

* * *

Sitting across from the Blacks, I tried to keep my eyes focused solely on Emmett, instead of on them. I could feel their angry eyes on me, hating me for their son being in the accident instead.

"Did you hear me, Bella?" Emmett asked softly. He was in a nice tan suit, his curly hair kept short, and his bright hazel eyes were soft. My mind cleared.

"I'm sorry?"

"He left everything to you."

"Everything?" I whispered.

"All of it."

"That just won't do," Sue snapped. "There are pictures, and some things from his childhood that I want." Mr. Black patted his wife's knee.

"Now Sue, I'm sure Bella would give some of those things to us." Everyone turned to me accordingly.

"Of course," I stuttered. "Anything you want." Sue nodded briskly. Emmett turned back to his paperwork.

"The funeral costs were paid by his life insurance. Anything left, is left to you, Bella. His accounts can be switched to your name."

"They are," I whispered.

"All but one," Emmett said quietly. My head jerked up.

"What account?" Emmett's eyes shifted awkwardly between me and Jacob's parents.

"Just a savings account," he said, waving his hand in the air dismissively. I knew he was lying. I glanced to Rosalie beside me who hadn't taken her eyes off of Emmett since he walked in the door.

"The house is yours to do with what you want-"

"She'll keep it of course," Sue scoffed. I frowned.

"I don't really need all the space," I whispered.

"She may not want to be here with all of the memories-"

"No, Billy," Sue said, cutting her husband off, "if she doesn't want it, we'll take it." My shoulders fell. Billy turned to me, ignoring his wife.

"If you wish to sell, do so." I nodded slowly. Sue huffed, but didn't speak again. I couldn't imagine what they must be going through as parents loosing their only son. I would never tell them of Jacob's affair with Tanya. I didn't care what they thought about me, but I would let them continue to think the world of their son.

* * *

Emmett finished reading Jacob's will quickly, obviously feeling the tension in the room. I signed what needed to be signed, and felt empty inside. The Blacks left with Sue's promise to be by next week to collect the things she wanted. Before Emmett could leave, I stopped him.

"What account?" Emmett looked to the ground. "Look, I already know about the divorce papers." His head snapped up.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"It's fine. I knew it was all coming to an end, even if I didn't want to admit it."

"It's actually a college fund account..." he trailed off. My heart lurched painfully. My husband had opened an account for our child's college fees. A child I would never be able give him.

"Oh," I whispered.

"When I met with him... I just want you to know that he didn't plan on taking everything in the divorce. We had an appointment to meet and change the will before he...passed, but he wasn't going to leave you destitute."

"Thanks, Emmett," I breathed quietly. He nodded, then reached down next to his briefcase, pulling up a box.

"This came to the firm a few days ago. Wanda told me to give it to you." I took the unmarked box, and held it tightly to my chest.

"I'll show you out," Rosalie piped, speaking for the first time in almost an hour. Emmett smiled shyly. Finishing with Jacob's will meant that it was all over. I needed to move on with my life, with what I had, and not look back. I could always remember the good things, and now that Jacob was gone, I didn't have to remember the bad.

I noticed Rosalie giggling with Emmett by the door, and saw her slip him a small card. I smiled, knowing full well that she gave him her phone number. It felt good to smile, and it would feel even better moving on.

* * *

I fell fast asleep by eight that night, but something woke me with a start. I scooted up in the guest bed, and breathed heavily. There was a thin sheen of sweat over my skin. I frowned, but couldn't remember any sort of bad dream. It was almost eleven at night. I groaned, feeling wide awake. I decided to take shower, to wash away the contents of the day. I wished I could scrub my emotions away, too.

I dressed in a big t-shirt with nothing else, still feeling too warm. I left my bathroom, and started walking back towards the guest room. I wasn't ready to return to the bed that I once shared with my husband. Thunder boomed loudly as I passed through my room, switching off lights, then I gasped when I saw a dark figure in the corner. I narrowed my eyes, and could swear that I was seeing Jacob standing in front of his closet. I shivered, and jumped in surprise when I heard pounding on my front door. I switched the light back on, and saw a dark suit jacket hanging from the closet door. The panic in my chest eased, but I could still hear my pulse in my ears.  
I was still frightened, but I turned the light back off and jogged downstairs. It was late at night, too late for visitors, so I wondered idly if I had hallucinated the knocking sound, too. I peered through the peephole to see Edward. I opened the door immediately. The storm blew rain in on my hot cheeks as a very wet and tired looking Edward stood in front of me on my stoop. I let him in, and ran to get a towel from the hall closet.

"Thank you," he said, taking the towel. He wiped his face and neck, then started to pat down his soaked clothes. His green eyes were dark, and they shifted back and forth.

"You okay?" I tried to even my breathing out.

"Yeah, I just thought I saw-" Edward frowned and I shook my head lightly. "Nothing." He turned back to drying his clothes. "You're sopping wet."

"I walked." My eyes widened.

"In this weather?" He shrugged. I put a hand on my hip.  
"What are you doing here?" I blurted.

"I came to talk."

"At this hour?" I asked with raised eyebrows. He shrugged again.

"I couldn't sleep. I figured that maybe you haven't been sleeping much either. I've tried calling you." His face was sad now, and it broke what was left of my heart. He dried his hair, then handed me the towel. I let out a soft laugh.

"I know. I'm sorry, it's just-"

"I know," he replied quickly. "It's been hell." I nodded.

"Come on," I said, starting toward the stairs. "I've got some dry clothes. I'll wash yours." Edward smiled and followed behind me. Edward waited in the hall for me as I dug through my dresser for baggy sweats and another big shirt. My mind couldn't decide how I should feel. Part of me was happy to see Edward; it was like a breath of fresh air into the stale room I had been stuck in. But, the other part of me only ached each time I even thought about him.

* * *

I waited downstairs in the kitchen for Edward. I stared down at a bottle of vodka, remembering Rosalie's plea from earlier today. I pushed the bottle aside and went to the fridge, grabbing a pitcher of apple juice instead. Edward emerged into the kitchen in my clothes. I took his wet clothes and went to the laundry room quietly. I started a load in the washer, and came back to see him sipping apple juice from a small glass.  
"No alcohol?" he asked in surprise. His eyes were dark. I kept the overhead kitchen light off, leaving on only the small lamp on the counter.

"I'm not drinking," I mumbled. I poured myself some juice. "Clothes work?" He picked at the old white t-shirt and nodded.

"Good," I said. "They fit."

"Are they-"

"His? No. They're mine. Jacob wouldn't have been caught dead wearing sweats," I replied, cutting myself off. I covered my mouth, and instantly started to cry. I wasn't sure where my tears were coming from all of a sudden. I thought I had used them up already. I hovered over the counter and put my head in my hands.

When I felt Edward's hand on my back. It burned like fire, so I moved away. I quickly swiped at my tears.

"God," I whined.

"Are you all right?"

"I am. I really am. This isn't out of sadness, I'm just overwhelmed," I admitted quietly.

"I understand," he replied softly. I stepped back over to my cup, and looked into Edward's eyes. They weren't as green as I remembered them being, but maybe that bright color would return in time. Like so many other times before, standing so close to him, I could feel his sadness wash over me. It was then that I realized that I was happy to see him. If I could take his pain away, and experience it all on my own, I would, and that told me everything I needed to know.

I carefully closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around his waist. I could hear him breathe a sigh of relief as he held me tightly to his chest. He smelt of fresh rain and tobacco, but something was missing.

"You're not painting," I stated sadly without turning my head to look up at him.

"No," he whispered. "How did you know?"

"I can't smell any paint," I said.

He chuckled softly then kissed the top of my head. It sounded deep with my ear pressed against his torso. His electrifying touch had slowly turned into a low humming feeling. It spread throughout my empty body and ignited something familiar. I recognized it immediately as desire, and I wasn't afraid of it. It was the only good thing I had felt in countless days. For fear of never feeling it again, I decided to act on it.

I twisted my head to look at Edward, and before I could second guess myself, I kissed him. The touch of his lips shocked mine slightly, but not enough to make me pull away. I suddenly smiled, breaking our kiss slightly and felt Edward's breath come over my face. I didn't feel like a sinner now. I waited for shame or sadness to overwhelm me, but there was nothing but my smile.

Edward crashed his mouth back to mine in fever, pushing my body against the counter. I gripped his hair for support, and let everything else fall away from me. There was nothing in my mind but Edward. I took his hand, and led it towards my uncovered center beneath my big shirt. Edward's moan was filled with a painful longing as he cupped my heat. His hand was like magic, moving only in a way that filled me with pleasure. I broke our kiss and threw my head back as his fingers slowly moved in and around my entrance. I looked back to him, his eyes dark and wanton.

* * *

I couldn't remember how we ended up in the guest bedroom sometime later. Edward hovered over me protectively, adoringly, and softly as we moved together as one. I felt every curve his body had, and found that my favorite place was his chest. It was as smooth as velvet against my pale skin. He moved in and out of me carefully, never picking up a quick rhythm. It felt like time had disappeared around us, allowing us to go slowly.

He kissed my breast, then sucked my neck as my nails started to dig into his lower back. I had never felt adored by someone before. He was eager to please, and after kissing my body from head to toe, a few tears escaped my eyes. The passion between us was too much for one broken person to handle. After taking our time, it finally grew to a climax, both of us crying out softly as we were released into ecstasy.

* * *

I stared down at Edward's back as he laid across my bare stomach. My back was propped up by the head board and I was tracing mindless patterns between his shoulder blades with my index finger as he hummed in approval.

"That feels good," he said. I smiled and continued my tracing. I glanced down to his bare ass. It was tight and small, and my cheeks heated back up.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," I said mindlessly, too entranced by his beautiful body.

"How do you know that you can't get pregnant?"

"After my miscarriages, the doctor said it had caused too much damage on my uterus," I said lightly.

"Oh," Edward said quietly.

"You know," I started, thinking back to Jacob's will, "he had a bank account that I didn't know about." Edward twisted his head to look at me. The only light I had was from the night outside, so his eyes looked like diamonds.

"Oh?"

"A college fund account." Edward's face fell. "After my miscarriages, we spoke about adoption or surrogate, so I assume he had the account set up in hopes for something like that." Edward groaned slightly and rested his chin on my thigh.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"Tanya was pregnant," Edward choked. My eyes went wide, my tracing his shoulders stopped, and my empty heart began to constrict painfully.

"What?" I breathed. Edward groaned again and sat up.

"She was five weeks along."

"But-"

"It wasn't mine, Bella," he said sadly. I wasn't sure if I was happy or sad about that. Everything suddenly became even more confusing. I frowned, and leaped off of the bed, and out of the room.

When I returned to Edward, I turned on a small lamp by the bed, sat down, and stared at the box Emmett had given me earlier.

"What's that?" Edward asked. I started opening the box, my heartbeat sounding loudly in my ear. I removed the stuffing contents, and found a plush rabbit.

"What the fuck?" Edward said. I dropped the rabbit on the bed, and found a receipt, and a small card at the bottom of the box. Edward took the receipt.  
"Expensive rabbit," he said. "From Barney's." I almost didn't hear his words as I read over the card contents again and again. My hand covered my mouth and I dropped the card.

"That bastard," I choked. Edward frowned, picked up the card, and read aloud.

_"You and this baby mean the world to me. Lets start our life fresh. I love you. -Jake"_

I felt nauseous. The room was spinning. Edward hopped off the bed and yelled obscenities at everyone and no one. It hurt my ears, but I didn't complain.

"Why?" he cried. "How can this just keep getting worse?"

"How long have you known she was pregnant," I asked in a whisper.

"What?"

"How long?" I yelled.

"The day I spoke with the coroner."

"Weeks ago?" I asked bewildered. I stood up and turned to face him. He was nodding slowly.

"And you wait until now to tell me? Fuck, you might just as well have kept it to yourself forever! Let me go on thinking that maybe my husband did something kind or sweet, and that maybe he had some form of hope for us!" Edward flinched and backed away from me.

"You should have answered my calls."

"Oh, but you can fuck me first, right?" His eyes darted to the floor in shame. "This explains everything."

"How?"

"The ring he had for her, the account, the rabbit...all of it! They planned to leave us in the dust," I spat angrily. "I'm not sad anymore. I'm furious. I never got the chance to divorce him. I feel like this is the easy way out."

"By them dying?!" He scoffed. "This is what life dealt us, Bella. We can't wallow in pity and anger." I frowned.

"You're no better than I am," I said.

"No, but at least I'm trying." I clutched my heart and sat back down on the bed, defeated. There really was no where else to go but up, so I should be able to just let it all go, right?

"Over ten years of my life I spent loving someone who didn't deserve it. How do I get that back, Edward?"

"You don't." I sighed in defeat.

"I guess pain doesn't go away. You just make room for it." Edward sighed and came to kneel before me. He placed his long hands on my bare thighs, his touch burning me again.

"Fuck them, remember?" I rolled my eyes. "I don't know where we go from here, but it has to be more than sex, Bella."

"Does it? Maybe that's all we were ever meant to be, Edward." He groaned. "You can't disagree with me."

"I don't, I was just hoping for something different."

"How can we ever have a future together with all of this haunting us?" I whispered. "You're not over her."

"You're not over him," he argued. "But I can say this: one day, she'll be nothing to me. I don't think I can say the same for you." My heart twisted painfully. I didn't feel weak anymore, I felt cold and alone. I stood up, and walked away from Edward. I put my shirt back on.

"We've made a mess of things," I said. Edward walked to the door but paused. "I will get over him one day," I said angrily. "But I'll never get over you."

"See you, Bella," he whispered. He walked away, with everything I had left to give.

"No, you won't," I whispered sadly to myself. Everything hurt, but there was nothing left in me to break. Realizing that I had no future with Edward was unbearable, but really, where could we go? How would we ever recover from the betrayal of our spouses, and the hurt we caused one another in sadness? I wasn't sure if I should apologize or just let him go. It would always be four people instead of two. There was nowhere to begin, because nothing should have been started.

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_Your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

* * *

**Yes, another chapter! And it is a LONG one! It is 70 degrees here in East Tennessee, and it feels fabulous. I just had to post! Thank my awesome Beta, Jules, for working overtime, too. ;) And sweet Beffers for posting last night's chapter!**

**I bet Billy's attitude surprised some of you! And that damn plush rabbit! Those lyrics are perfect!**

**I know some of you wished for the death of the cheaters...so there you go! But I am glad that it surprised a lot of you, too! Your reviews were cracking me up! Karma really is the ultimate bitch. Don't worry about our lovers...there is still plenty of story left to tell. Thank you for your love.**

**Join our group on FB! We plan to post a Chapter 13 teaser on Tuesday... :) xoxo**


	13. Chapter 13: End of the Dream

_Chapter Thirteen: End of the Dream_

Rosalie came bounding into my foyer with an angry look on her face. I sighed, and closed the front door, hesitating before turning around to look at her.

"Why the fuck haven't you answered my phone calls?" she chided. "Its been two weeks." I turned around and shrugged. "Dammit, Bella, don't do that."

"I was fine, Rose. I told you that several times. I'm just not in the mood for much talking," I admitted quietly. Rose huffed and rolled her eyes before stalking off into the kitchen. My shoulders were hunched, and I followed behind her shamefully. A mad Rosalie was the worst kind of Rosalie. She was rummaging through a cupboard above the stove when I rounded the corner.

"Rose, what are you doing?" I whined. She pulled out a bottle of Absolut and shoved it toward my face.

"Getting rid of all this!" she spat angrily. She grabbed more half empty and full bottles of hard liquor. Then, she grabbed another bottle of Absolut. I frowned.

"That's enough of all this drinking, understand?" she scolded. I shrugged and went to sit at the table. One by one I watched as Rosalie poured the liquor contents down the drain.

"I'm not even drinking any of it," I argued, folding my arms across my chest. Rosalie scoffed in disbelief. "I stopped when you asked."

She finished, fixed her hair back into a neat ponytail, and came to sit down across from me at the table. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Bella," she started slowly, "I'm sorry about what happened to Jacob-"

I suddenly pushed away from the table, "Stop apologizing!" I screamed. Rose flinched and her jaw dropped in surprise at my outburst.

"There's no need for apologies, and I'm sick of hearing about him!"

"Okay, okay," she said, offering her palms up in defense. "No more talk of him." My breathing slowed.

"I'm just tired of everything," I whispered. "Especially hearing about that bastard." Rosalie frowned.

"I know you are," Rose replied softly.

"And I miss Edward," I added sadly.

"Can you call him?"

"And say what, Rose?" I groaned, and slouched down in my chair. "I fucked up."

She let out a small sigh. "What do you mean?"

"I need him, but I'm just pushing him away. I feel like I'm on my period nonstop with all these emotions."

Rosalie chuckled. "Well, aren't you?" I frowned.

"No," I replied with a slight waver to my voice.

"I am. Weird," she said lightly. "We're usually so synced up."

Then, suddenly, our faces fell, and our eyes went wide.

"Are you... I mean, is there a possibility?" she asked, without wanting to actually say the word. I shook my head vehemently and scoffed.

"No!" I paused, then laughed, bemused. "There's no way..." Suddenly, visions of Edward's eyes, my back against a wall, and his mouth on my neck flooded into my mind. I had suppressed them as hard as I could, but now there was no stopping them. I could never fully escape the remembrance of his smell and taste. My heart ripped open anew, and it was excruciating.

"Oh, God," I suddenly choked. Rosalie frowned, waiting impatiently for me to explain. "Edward," I whispered.

"What?" she nearly screamed. A finger instantly went to my left ear in pain from her shouting. My mind was reeling.

"Start from the beginning," she ordered. I blushed, but decided that maybe telling someone would help me. There was a lot I had left out in telling her before.

* * *

Rosalie regretted ridding the cabinets of alcohol once I began telling her the recent events of my affair with Edward. She sat quietly, and let me finish before she couldn't keep it in any longer. She fanned herself and sat back into her chair.

"Fuck, that's hot," she breathed. I shook my head.

"Rose," I whined.

"I can't believe he just showed up like that. How sweet." I rolled my eyes.

"Did you forget about Tanya's pregnancy?" I asked her.

"Okay, okay. Yes, that is fucked up, but there's nothing you can do about all of that now. They're gone."

"But because of them, I made a huge mistake with Edward."

"He did, too, Bella. It wasn't all you." I sat back in my chair in defeat.  
"No birth control?" she asked quietly.

"I stopped a long time ago after my doctor left me with no hope. It's not like I needed it, and it made me even more moody."

"Condom?" I hid my face behind my hands in shame. Edward would surely blame me, wouldn't he?

"I'm going to miscarry," I whispered.

"You don't know for sure, baby." I tried to smile at her, but it was hard. I wanted to go away from the world and never return. This predicament topped all of my others by a long shot. Then, fear struck me like a lightening bolt.

"What if I killed it?" I whispered. My hand flew to my mouth. "I've drank, Rose, I've drank! The baby!" I was frantic, and standing up now. My uterus may reject yet another child for whatever reason, but I couldn't lose a child due to my own stupidity and self pity. Rose stood up, too, and put her hands on my shoulders.

"Bella, calm down. Lets get a pregnancy test first, before we do any freaking out, all right?" I didn't look into her blue eyes, but I managed a nod. "It could just be stress; or, having sex after not having sex for a while. Either, or both, of those things could have something to do with why you are late."

"How could I be so stupid?" I dropped my head in shame.

"You're not stupid. Everything happens for a reason."

"I don't see how losing children can happen for a reason," I whispered.

"Miracles happen." There was that word again. Edward had once told me to never give up on a miracle, and I wasn't taking his advice, I needed to try to hold onto that thought. "Can we just get a pregnancy test first, then discuss the what ifs?"

* * *

My dreams of becoming a mother started when I was seventeen. I dreamed of a perfect child, a child that loved me unconditionally, and one that I would raise much better than my own mother had raised me. Maybe that's what started my dreams of becoming a mother. I wanted someone to love, and needed someone to love me back. In the eyes of a child, a mother can do no wrong.

With recent events these past few weeks, my dreams of becoming a mother, and having someone to care for, were slowly crumbling around me. I wasn't sure if I deserved them all or not. It was painful, and I felt like nothing was solid or concrete.

Not even an hour later, I sat on the floor of my bathroom while hugging my knees for comfort. Time had never moved this slowly before. Rosalie was in front of me, leaning against the marble countertop, and staring down at her phone. It was keeping track of the time, and we had one minute left until the little stick showed its results.

We had made a run to Walgreens and bought the most expensive pregnancy test they sold. I was out over thirty bucks, but I would have paid more just to be sure. A clock was ticking away mentally in my head. Would the timer ever go off, and release me from this purgatory?

My small boombox sounded quietly from my room that was connected to the bathroom. For the first time in weeks, I didn't want any sound. My mind was screaming loud enough. A quiet song floated to me across the floor. Its lyrics hit me, and I buried my head behind my knees. Maybe if I prayed the pain away, God would come help me out.

_Why must we fall apart to learn how to fly?  
I will find a way  
Even without wings  
Follow your heart  
'Til it bleeds  
As we run towards the end of the dream_

Just earlier today, I was complaining to myself again about the drastic turn life had thrown at me over Jacob's death and further betrayal, but this - possibly pregnant with Edward's child - was what would surely kill me. How much could a woman take, and how had I been so stupid?

I didn't think I was young enough to make these mistakes. What would people think? Jacob's family would surely assume, and rightly so, that it would be Jacob's baby. Was I a slut? I squeezed my legs tighter to my chest and let a few tears slip from my eyes. I sniffled.

"Thirty seconds," Rose whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut. Sometimes, a woman knows her own outcome. The more I thought about being pregnant, the more I realized that I was. I had wanted a baby for so long, but this way wasn't how I imagined it.

I wanted the child to have a loving father, a father that loved me, and a life that was far different from what mine had become. My worst fear was being a bad mother, and how could I not be with such past mistakes?

"Ten seconds."

My throat slowly started to close up. This was it, this was a new chapter, and I would face it alone. Maybe the test would be a false positive, but I wouldn't know for sure until I saw a doctor, and I wouldn't tell Edward until then.

Rosalie reached down and took my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Whatever the fuck happens," she said, "I'll be here with you through it all." Her statement only made me cry harder. I nodded and kissed the back of her hand that held mine. Rosalie's timer on her iPhone pinged loudly, causing me to jump back to life, to the reality of my new future.

I felt Rosalie kneel down in front of me. I wiped my eyes, and looked down to the small white stick that she held like a lifeline. Even if I miscarried, my life would forever be different because there was a part of Edward inside of me.

There, inside the small plastic window, was a pink plus sign that now signified my new life.

_I'm not afraid  
I pushed through the pain  
And I'm on fire  
I remember how to breathe again_

* * *

**Okay, I know that just about ALL of you called the whole "pregnancy" ordeal. LOL. Yay, babies!**

**Please bare with this Bella! A lot of you are pissed at her, but that's all right. She will overcome it all, you know.**

**Any thoughts?!**

**xox**

**Song-evanescence**


	14. Chapter 14: The Missing

_Chapter Fourteen: The Missing_

I had never enjoyed going to the doctor, but this appointment was different from all the others; and they would be from now on. Not only was I going for myself, but also for the little pea pod in my belly: assuming that those three home pregnancy tests that I took before coming here, were correct.

I spent hours each day praying for all this to be real. I was as afraid as always that I would miscarry, so I didn't keep much hope.  
But I didn't need a doctor's confirmation for anything. I knew I was pregnant. I could feel my pea pod slowly growing; I just needed to know if it was healthy. The doctor's office was crowded and it took Rosalie and I almost an hour to get back to see Dr. Weber.

The best thing about Dr. Angela Weber, besides her being incredibly kind and gentle, was that she was new to town. She wouldn't know Jacob, his family, or anyone else that did. I was trying very hard to keep it all on the down low. The last thing I needed was to start rumors, but I knew I would need to face the truth soon enough. Right now though, I had to deal with a pelvic exam.

* * *

Sure enough, I was almost seven weeks pregnant. My pelvic exam checked out, and Dr. Weber even did a special ultrasound to check on the baby. It was healthy and thriving, with no damage caused by my reckless drinking. It was the best news I had gotten in my entire life. I was healthy, and so was my new baby. Unfortunately, fear still stabbed the back of my mind painfully. I returned from changing back into my clothes and took a seat on the exam table.

"What about my miscarriages?" I asked shakily. Rose took my hand and squeezed it.

"I've read your file, so I know your history. But, I have a good feeling about this. Your past pregnancies never went past five weeks." Dr. Weber pushed her glasses further up her nose and smiled.

"How is this possible, though? I was told that my uterus was too damaged."

"Miracles happen," she replied softly. I smiled and thought of Edward.

"We'll monitor you closely for a while, but I really think you're okay, and the baby is doing great."

"Thank you," I gushed, shaking her hand. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome," she said with a chuckle. "I'll see you next week. If you feel any pain, or start to bleed, call my office and go to the hospital."

"Okay," I said.

"You'll be fine," she said, patting my hand.

* * *

We burst out of the office on a bright summer day in July with smiles on our faces. Rosalie was just as excited as I was about it all. I spun around to face her as I walked backwards to my Volvo.

"My little pea pod is so cute!" I exclaimed. Rosalie chuckled.

"It looks like a peanut," she replied, looking back down at the ultrasound photo. "So, where to now?"

"Edward! I have to go tell him," I said, smiling. Rose's face fell slightly.

"What will you say?" she asked, with a tilt of her head. I shrugged, still smiling.

"It'll come to me," I assured her. Rosalie's eyes narrowed.

"Be careful," she warned. "Can we talk about it first?" I stopped walking and shrugged. I followed Rosalie to my car, but didn't get in.

"Well?"

"After all you two have been through, this is huge news, so break it to him easily."

I chuckled. "I will."

"Do you think he's still upset about your last night together?" My face fell.

"I need to apologize to him, Rose. And I need to do what I should have done weeks ago. Today is the first day of the rest of my life."

"Okay," Rose said skeptically.

"Rosie, you can't be the aunt and the daddy," I said teasingly. She smiled and shrugged.

"This is all so great," I beamed. "Now, I'm going to put my house on the market, finish my book, and take care of my little pea pod."

Rose chuckled, "Okay, yeah, you definitely need a man around." I laughed and poked her arm. "I'll see you later, babe. I'm meeting Emmett." Her smile was infectious.

"And how is that going?" .

Rosalie batted her eyelashes.

"It may be too soon to say, but I'm going to anyway...he's the one for me." I squealed in delight and hugged my best friend. "Just as Edward is the one for you," she whispered in my ear. I pulled away, but kept her at arms length.

"I hope he's excited," I said hopefully.

"How could he not be?" she countered. Then she patted my back, and I felt better about it all.

* * *

After a swift kiss to her cheek, I left Rosalie at her red mustang, and sped towards Seventeenth St. It wouldn't take very long to get there, but my mind was racing faster than the speed limit, with different scenarios. The first scenario was a vision of horror; Edward refusing me and the baby. I knew him better than that, though, didn't I? My last vision was of Edward scooping me up in his arms and promising a life together with the three of us as a family. I smiled, and drove faster.

Pulling onto Seventeenth St, my eyes caught sight of a horrific vision, though I wasn't sure if this was better than my worst fears or not. Sitting neatly in the small patch of grass outside of Edward's townhouse, was a "For Sale" sign. Beneath the red metal sign, there was an attachment that read, "Sold."

My stomach fell away from me, and my breathing sped up. He couldn't be gone, he wouldn't leave without a word. I quickly grabbed my iPhone from the center console, still parked in the middle of the street. I scrolled through dozens of missed calls from Edward in the past weeks, back when I wasn't strong enough to face him.

Apparently I was too late. I dialed his number anyway, and placed it to my ear. My fingers tapped the steering wheel while waiting, until a recorded voice spoke to me. Edward's number had been disconnected. My mind went into a fog-like frenzy, think of anything and everything I could about where he could be. Then, I remembered his Gallery.

A loud car horn sounded behind me, and I jumped in surprise. I waved a hand out the window, and started to drive again. My hands shook, and my heart was hurting, but I kept my speed well over the limit, racing to his Gallery.

Sadly, Edward wasn't there either. The gallery was dark and empty from where I sat, parked in front of it. I bowed my head, laying it on the steering wheel, and cried. My right hand rested softly over my belly, and I silently apologized to my unborn child for driving its father away.

Suddenly, I saw an elderly man with silver hair and hazel eyes, coming out of the dark studio with a large sign in his hand. It was awkward, and he seemed to be struggling beneath it. I jumped out of my car and hurried over to him.

"Can I help?" I asked, taking an end of the sign. The old man smiled an old wrinkled grin at me.

"Thank you, dear, I'm just trying to clean the place up," he crackled. He stepped down a few cement stairs and we made our way over to the dumpster.

"You own it now?" I asked.

"Yes, indeed. I'm going to open up a clock shop," he said proudly. I smiled.

"I guess the owner left in a hurry?"

"Mm, nice young man. Couldn't seem to get away quick enough, though." My heart constricted in my chest painfully. We made it to the dumpster and stopped. The man raised his arms, pulling the sign up, only it wasn't a sign at all. It looked like a scrap canvas. I smiled, seeing the colors of acrylic that were always smeared onto Edward's jeans.

"Actually," I said quickly, "Can I keep this?" The old man shrugged.  
"Suit yourself."

* * *

After lowering my back seats, the old man helped me fit the large and awkward square canvas into the back of my Volvo, and bid me goodbye. I wished him luck in his new business, and climbed back into the driver's seat.

I had no way of finding Edward, and nowhere to even start looking. If only I had picked up the phone or not pushed him away, would he still be here? My self loathing flushed back into me like a tidal wave. The bright sunny day outside, suddenly changed into a dark stormy night within me.

What was I going to do, now? There was nothing to do, so I drove away from what was left of him, and went home to my empty house alone, with Edward's canvas.

_Maybe it's time to change  
And leave it all behind  
I've never been one to walk alone  
I've always been scared to try  
So why does it feel so wrong  
To reach for something more  
To wanna live a better life  
What am I waiting for?  
'Cause nothing stays the same  
Maybe it's time to change_

* * *

Later that day I found myself eating dinner alone. I was trying not to feel sorry for myself, but it was difficult. I wasn't sure what to do now. How could I raise my baby without Edward around? I assumed that he left because he thought I hated him, and wanted to never see him again, but it was all a lie: a lie I allowed to happen.

Lying to protect myself never got me anywhere but hurt. I did it to myself, and now when I needed to fix it the most, I couldn't. My chances were gone, and when I did have them, I took them for granted and didn't think about how all of this would affect me for the rest of my life. My left hand flew to my stomach in sadness.

Even if it was just me and my pea pod, I would give this child everything I had. I was set financially. I could finish my novel, and we could have a good life together. I already loved my baby more than I ever knew possible.

I heard my doorbell ring, so I dragged myself to the door to answer it.

"Oh, Bella, I was expecting Bethany," Billy Black said. My eyes were wide with surprise.

"No, uh," I stuttered. "I let her go. She's got school and she's getting married."

"Good for her," Billy replied happily. I nodded until an awkward silence fell over us. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Oh, come in, come in," I gushed, embarrassed. Billy chuckled and stepped into the foyer. He turned to look at two men in black suits with expressionless faces. The bodyguards nodded once to him, and stood still on the stoop. I smirked, and closed the door, knowing they would be in the same position when Billy went to leave.

"I came in place of Sue," he said. I turned around and tried to smile.

"I appreciate that," I whispered. Billy smiled widely. His dark eyes were painfully familiar. "What would you like?"

"I have a list," he replied hesitantly. He took a small piece of paper from his coat pocket. I spoke again before he could start listing off items.

"Billy, you can take whatever you want to take. I don't want anything, so please, go ahead."

"That's kind of you, Bella." I nodded, and led the way upstairs.

We went through Jacob's office first. Billy grabbed a couple of things here and there, but nothing too big. When we got to my room, Billy removed Jacob's old baseball jersey from our closet, and a couple of things from his dresser. I watched in silence, suddenly feeling like I was at a flea market as I watched Billy take remnants of my husband.

I gave Billy a duffel bag for him to put Jacob's things in, and led him back downstairs. I heard my father-in-law sniffle. It broke my heart, and I wasn't sure what I should say. I turned to face him.

"Would you like a drink?" I asked. Billy nodded quickly. I smiled and we went to the kitchen.

I still had some alcohol left over from a hidden cupboard where Jacob kept his whiskey, that I never told Rosalie about. It didn't matter because I never drank that nasty stuff. I poured some Jack Daniel into a small glass and sat across from Billy at the table with my water in front of me. He sipped his drink and sighed.

"I'm very sorry about your son. I should have said that sooner, especially to Sue. You both have been nothing but kind to me since I was kid." Billy chuckled.

"Thank you, Bella. I always knew Jacob won the gold when he got you."

"I don't know about that," I replied sadly, looking down to my water glass.

"I do. He really did love you, sweetheart." He sighed, and I was about to reply, but he began again, "Jacob came to me a couple of months ago asking advice about how to go about a divorce." My face stayed the same, and I didn't stop breathing. "I figured you knew about that," he added sadly. I nodded.

"It wasn't all him. We both made a mess of things in the end. I just wish it wouldn't have ended the way it did. We were friends once upon a time, and I miss that more than I miss the marriage," I admitted quietly.

"I told him he was nuts for wanting out, but he wouldn't listen to me. I'm sorry for the pain he caused, Bells." I nodded and swiped a stray year off of my face.

"Thank you," I whispered. "We were so afraid of being in the public eye with it all...I still am."

"Don't be. I'll protect you." I paused, then looked up from my water. Billy Black was a handsome man. His jet black hair was smooth and shiny, his face clean shaven, and his eyes were soft. He had always reminded me of a big teddy bear. He was a father to me when I had no one else.

"Billy, I'm not better than Jacob," I choked. "I made mistakes, and now I have to pay for them..." I cut off, and my hand went to rest on my stomach. Billy cleared his throat awkwardly. "It's not Jacob's," I whispered sadly. "I wish, for your sake, that it was."

"I understand," he said. "Things happen, and even though things weren't meant to be forever with my son, you shouldn't stop living." I had heard the same piece of advice from a few other people in the past few months, but it meant something different coming from Billy. "You were a good wife, and you and Jacob had something special. Don't forget it, but don't dwell on it."

I smiled through tears, and leaned across the table to hug him tightly. Billy allowed me to cry on his shoulder without a word of judgement or a single question.

"Alright you fucking guard dogs, chill out," Billy said smiling. His men didn't move. I rolled my eyes. Billy handed his duffel to one of his men, and turned back to me. "I'm always here for you. Don't worry about Sue. Get on with your life, okay? Sell this house, and check in with me from time to time. I would love hearing about you." I smiled widely.

"Thanks again, Billy." He nodded, and left with his guard dogs. I closed my front door and leaned against it feeling better than I had in a long time. Billy was right about my life, and I needed to take his advice. With or without Edward, I chose to live.

* * *

**Sad about Edward? You know he'll be back... :) you trust me, right?! And I hope you liked Billy!**

**Song is: Maybe, by Sick Puppies**

**Special thanks to Beffers and Jules as always!**

**More soon, lovelies! xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15: Found

_Chapter Fifteen: Found_

Time is of the essence. I was surprised to find how fast it had started it move, after moving so slowly for so long. Autumn was here, and Charleston was beautiful. The air was crisp, and the leaves were changing to their fall colors.

A lot of positive things had come forth in the months that had passed. I sold my house, which thankfully Jacob's parents didn't care about, and was now living with Rosalie. I enjoyed living with her, but I was in the slow process of finding my own, much smaller, place. Truthfully, she loved having me around, and I was glad to have the steady company. She had been incredibly busy planning her wedding, which would take place at Emmett's house on the beach. I needed to find a place soon, before Rosalie moved out, but I promised to look after the boutique while she was away on her honeymoon.

I was afraid of lapsing back into a depression; that's the last thing my baby and I needed. So, I decided I had to keep myself busy. Rosalie lived above her boutique, so I started helping her around the shop when I wasn't writing. In fact, I was waiting to hear back from a publisher about a small novel I had finally completed. Billy had helped me get it into a well renowned publishing company.

I wrote all the time now, and it was funny to me, because I had to experience such sadness and loss, just to be able to write. But, I wrote about love, the love I learned through Edward. Though it was too brief, and he was no longer in my life, I still thought of him more often than not.

There was still no word, and no sign of where he was. To me, it literally felt like he had vanished into thin air. If I wasn't pregnant with his child, it would be as of he never existed. I stopped trying to understand it all a long time ago, but each time my mind slipped, my hand went to my growing stomach, and I smiled.

Soon enough, by the end of next week in fact, I would know the sex of my child. Rosalie wanted it to be a girl, naturally. I would love a girl of course, but secretly, I prayed for a boy. A boy with green eyes and bronze hair would be ideal.

It was a Wednesday afternoon in September, and I was watching Rosie's Boutique while she stepped out for lunch. She was bringing back Subway, and the baby in me couldn't wait to be fed. I was organizing paperwork on the counter aimlessly and had helped a couple customers with their purchases.

There was a woman who shuffled through some clothes before bringing a few items to the counter. I recognized her immediately, and frowned.

"Jessica Stanley?" I choked.

"Hey, Bella! Wow, I didn't know you worked here."

"I don't. I mean, I'm just helping a friend out."

"Rosalie is divine, isn't she? Her craftsmanship is perfect. I don't wear anything else but her clothes."

"That's kind of you. I'm sure you're excited about her contract with Belk."

"You better believe it!" Jessica smiled widely. Her short brown hair was styled perfectly, her acrylic nails fresh, and her smile was fake. She dated Jacob in high school before he dumped her for me. I cringed at the memory. I took her items and began to type their codes into the scanner.

"I'm sorry about Jacob," she said quietly. I nodded.

"It's sad," I agreed. I could feel Jessica's eyes on me, and it made me as nervous as it did in high school.

"Bella Black!" she boomed. I squinted my eyes. "Are you with child?!" Her southern accent annoyed me. And who the hell said that sort of thing anymore? I turned to face her slowly and nodded once.

"Oh, how wonderful," she gushed. "A part of Jacob to have forever!" I laughed nervously.

"Yeah...forever."

"When are you due?"

"March," I said.

"I better see a baby shower invite!" I forced another smile and placed her purchased items in a bag. Should I tell her that the baby isn't Jacob's? I wasn't ashamed of it being Edward's, but I also felt that it wasn't any of Jessica's business at all, so I kept my mouth shut.

Suddenly, Rosalie burst through the front door, saving me from Jessica. She was carrying a bag with our food, and held a bright green flier in her right hand. She hurried over to me after saying goodbye to Jessica, and flung the Subway bag onto the counter. She shoved the green flier towards my face. I frowned and took it tentatively.

"Read," she commanded. I chuckled and looked down to the paper, losing my breath at the sight of "Edward Masen" written in bold font. My eyes looked back to Rose, who nodded knowingly to me.

"Edward Masen," my throat burned at the sound of his name coming through it, "Is to be awarded Best Acrylic Artist of the Year, Thursday night at eight pm." I finished in a whisper. I hesitated, then threw the paper in the trash can next to me. It stared up at me, so I kicked it over.

"Bella," Rose said.

"No," I snapped. "No way. He left. Why should I go to him?" Rose leaned forward on the counter and tapped her chin.

"I dunno... hmm, because you're carrying his child? Oh, and because you fucking love him?" she offered. I shook my head and tried to fight the truth of it all. "You can't say he never tried for you, Bella," she whispered. My shoulders dropped.

"What would I even say now?" I asked, defeated. "After looking for so long and finding nothing, I couldn't bare it now."

"You tell him the truth," she replied simply. I groaned as I looked down to my belly. I pointed to my pregnant stomach.

"He'll see this, and immediately freak out."

Rose smiled. "You're barely showing, and you can wear a loose shirt," she said with a roll of her eyes. Rosalie knew that I was trying to get out of going in any way I could.

I looked down to the hand that rested over my stomach nearly all of the time, and thought about what my child would gain from having its father around. I instantly began praying to whomever would listen, that Edward would listen, too.

"I guess I should start with an apology." Rosalie nodded sweetly.

And Edward needed to know about our baby.

* * *

The Gallery of Artist Awards wasn't far from Rosalie's place. In fact, it was only two blocks away, so I decided to walk, hoping the time and chilly air would help me sort my thoughts. I had many different ways that I wanted to approach Edward. Sadly, it was with every emotion imaginable. I wanted to cry in his arms; I wanted to slap his face; and, I wanted to yell in his ears. I wasn't sure which one of them would actually happen, though, and that worried me. First though, I would apologize to him.

I stood idly in the back of the gallery that was littered with esteemed artists and their families. A local newspaper team was here as well, but enough time had passed since Jacob's death, that I was considered old news. Rosalie dressed me in black slacks, teal flats, and a bright yellow shirt. It was technically a maternity shirt, but they were worn popularly enough by people who were not pregnant, that I could get away with it. The hardest thing to keep from doing was touching my stomach. It was like second nature to me now, but it would surely give my secret away.

I felt pretty, with my hair pinned back and a little makeup on my pale face. Rose said that if it ended badly, at least I would look good, and Edward would know it, too. It wasn't until I finally spotted him that I wished I could turn and leave unnoticed. He wore a linen khaki suit, light brown shoes, and his hair was as wild as the sky in a summer storm.

I stayed hidden behind people when the ceremony had finally ended. Edward carried his new plaque around proudly, and I found that I was happy for his grand achievement. But, now it was time to confront him. He stood on the opposite side of the room, looking better than ever before, smiling with other artists for the newspaper.

I carefully maneuvered through the crowd and broke free into an open space. It was then that Edward's green eyes found me. His smile dropped from his face just as a photographer's flash went off. Then, his smile returned, and it was wide as he stared at me. I frowned, confused. Wouldn't he be mad at me? I shuddered, and slowly slipped back behind some people after Edward gave me a nod.

After a few minutes of waiting outside the gallery, Edward finally walked out. My stomach hurt the instant I saw him again. The chilly night air helped keep my cold sweats away. His white linen button up was open at the top, reminding me of his chest hair. His smile made me blush, though I wasn't sure why.

"Hi," he said, sporting his crooked grin. I smiled, and took the flute of champagne that he was offering me. I kept it far away from my mouth, though. Since getting pregnant, a strange twist of fate made the smell of any alcohol make me nauseous, but I thanked him anyway.

"So, how have you been?" he asked, nonchalantly. That was when the anger returned to me. He was starting with pleasantries, after he left with no word? After all of the searching I did? Apparently in Virginia, his parents had chosen to remain unlisted. Wasn't this the twenty-first century? Maybe he was expecting my anger.

"Fabulous," I replied sarcastically. Edward turned and looked out at the street. "I sold my place and live with Rosalie two blocks down. You?" Edward nodded, then shrugged his shoulders and sipped his champagne.

Then, something bubbled from deep within me, and I couldn't catch it before it escaped.

"I'm pregnant," I blurted. Edward's head snapped to the right, back to me, and his jaw was slack. I nearly squinted my eyes, preparing myself for the blow, but it never came. His eyes flashed down to my stomach, then back up.

"I'm happy for you," he said sadly. I frowned.

"Happy for me?" I scoffed.

"I guess you got what you always wanted from him." His voice was quiet, but it was laced with venom and agony.

"It's yours," I spat angrily.

"What?" he replied immediately. The look of disbelief on his face was gut wrenching.

"How could you think it was his? I told you how long it had been since he and I," I cut off, unable to finish. This wasn't about Jacob, and I didn't want it to become that way.

"How is it mine?" he asked. "Especially after all that talk of you not being able to carry a child." He slowly took a step closer towards me, but I backed away. Then realized he just wanted us further away from the gallery entrance. I fumed, but waited until we stopped walking a few steps down.

"Shit happens. I didn't plan it anymore than you did, and its not like you were swimming in condoms," I shot angrily.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he seethed.

"Tell you how?" I nearly screamed, my left hand waving in the air. "Where the fuck were you?"

"I moved to Virginia," he shot back. "After trying to get ahold of you for weeks on end, and you not giving a damn."

"Oh, well I'm so sorry for not running to you immediately after viewing the body of my husband. He died, remember?"

"So did my wife, Bella!" He ran a hand through his copper locks. His eyes still snuck glances at my tummy.

I sighed, "Well, I came looking, but all your shit was sold. I tried calling-"

"I gave up, Bella. I was heartbroken."

"So was I!" I yelled, tears beginning to swell in my eyes. "I'm sorry I pushed you away, but I was lost. I literally had no idea what I was doing."

"And you think I know it all, huh?" I looked down to my feet in shame. "Looks like you still got what you wanted," he said, nodding to my pregnant stomach. My eyes shot wide.

"You think," I started, then a scoff stopped me, "You think I planned this? That I wanted it this way?"

He shrugged, "Didn't you? Admit it, Bella. You wanted what you couldn't have, took it, and then that was it. You had no true intentions of leaving Jacob." My eyes were open so wide that it began to hurt, and I took a step away from him, my tears disappearing.

"You heartless asshole," I said strongly. "No wonder you can't keep women from cheating on you, when you act like this. I didn't use you anymore than you used me, Edward." I pointed a finger at his face. "And I'm going to have this baby, and raise it, and love it, with or without you."

"Even if it's mine," he forced through clenched teeth, "If Jacob was still alive, I wouldn't have ever known because you were so fucking worried about your reputation." That was it, all I could handle. Unfortunately, I came here expecting something much more than what I got. I splashed my drink over his face, dropped the glass flute, which shattered on the pavement, and turned on my heel.

As I stalked away, I suddenly felt his presence behind me.

"Bella, wait. Stop walking!" I did as he asked, but I didn't turn around. I could hear him wiping off his face. "I've been drinking, with all the hype over the award... I'm sorry, okay?"

I slowly turned around to face him, because I wanted one last look at his perfect features. "Don't," I whispered. "Just don't." And then, I started to walk away again before I could see his face fall. This wasn't supposed to happen this way. How could I have been so naive? We weren't meant to be because of everything we went through, and put each other through.

For half a block, I could feel Edward's eyes on my back, but not even they could stop me and my baby from walking away now.


	16. Chapter 16: Anything You Want

_Chapter Sixteen: Anything You Want_

The time had finally come when I wished for any sort of physical pain, just to take away all of the emotional agony. Not even my husband betraying me, or his death, had me hurting this much. I went home last night after my fight on the sidewalk with Edward, and cried myself to sleep. Rosalie wasn't home, but I preferred it that way. I wasn't ashamed to admit that I had fought with myself for hours over whether or not I should have gone back to him. I wanted to fall at his feet, but I also wanted him to do the same.

In the end I decided that I needed to wallow for just one night, and then pick myself back up. I was shattered, and the glue that I normally used to piece myself back together wasn't working anymore. I was so angry with myself for letting things go so badly with Edward. Wasn't I in control of my life, or at least, my own emotions?

I wasn't sure why I ignored him after Jacob's death, but I had been in a bad place mentally. I didn't want to put Edward through that, when he too was trying to overcome a loss. I wasn't sure where to go from here, but I guess I would go back to where I was before I saw him again.

My editor would be getting back to me soon, I would find my own place, and I would begin a new life. I felt like I had been punished enough through all of this. I told Edward that I was sorry for ignoring him, but I never apologized for not communicating with him properly, and that was why we were here, in this awful mess.

The weekend had come and after some lengthy days of wedding planning with my best friend, I was exhausted. I wasn't cut out for planning events, but luckily I had Rosalie's mother helping. Everything was set, ordered, and in place, for today's wedding at twilight.

It was easy to smile today because Rose was getting married. I didn't have to fake any happiness like I had been the few days prior. Edward hadn't called, but I hadn't gone after him either. I was at a loss as to what I should even say. He had to want to be apart our child's life, right? Sadness filled me when I envisioned dropping my little pea pod off with its dad, and me leaving for the weekend since it would be Edward's turn.

I shuddered and pushed the thought away, going back to curling my hair. Rose was sleeping in for another hour or so as I got ready. We were up well into the early hours of morning as we talked about our futures, which would be more separate now as she moved on with her husband. I wasn't jealous, because Rosalie deserved the world; and Emmett was giving it to her.

I had not told her what happened with Edward a few nights back. She was dying to know, but she was already so busy planning her wedding, that I didn't want to add more of my bullshit to her already full plate. Plus, all of the wedding plans were so time consuming.

I finished with my hair, and put it up high on my head to protect the curls. Then I made coffee and brought two full mugs back upstairs. Rosalie was still sleeping peacefully in her large bed. I rubbed her back and she sat up abruptly.

"Are we late?" she croaked. I laughed, and rubbed her shoulder.

"No, we're not late." Rosalie swiped her eyes and yawned.

"I had an awful dream that we were late and looked like shit," she said worriedly. I giggled.

"That won't happen. I mean, if we are late, it's because we were so busy getting so fabulous looking." Rose giggled and took her offered cup of coffee. We sat in a comfortable silence as we drank down gulps of the steaming liquid.

"Will you tell me now?" she asked softly. I sighed lightly and went to open the bedroom window. The smell of salt water filled the room as the crisp fall air blew in. I breathed in heavily. "I can take it, you know," she furthered. I rolled my eyes.

"I honestly don't know what happened. We fought for nothing." I turned back around to see Rosalie frowning.

"Did you tell him you were sorry?"

"Yes. He didn't think the baby was his." Rosalie's face shifted to anger. I held my hand to prevent her from yelling. "I think he thought that way out of sheer shock. He was taken aback. A lot of what he said was true, though. I did push him away."

"I didn't expect you to fall into his arms immediately after your husband died, Bella." I shrugged. "I just want you two to be honest."

"Sometimes I wonder if we even had a chance at all."

"You still do, babe," she cooed. I smiled lightly and drank more coffee.

"I almost went back to him, but I didn't see the point. Not after a fight like that." I shuddered when I pictured Edward's face dripping in champagne.

"Good thing he's coming to my wedding," she said, leaning in closer to me. My eyes flew open so wide that it hurt. "I found him. Well, more like he found me by calling Emmett. Apparently Em had given him some legal advice at Tanya's funeral."

"Wait, so I'm going to see him again? Tonight?" Rose nodded enthusiastically as excitement began to overwhelm me. "But only if you two make it right, once and for all. Deal?" I fell into Rosalie's arms with tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Deal! Thank you," I gushed. Rose patted my neck and chuckled.

"Don't be afraid to love again. You can't prevent getting hurt, Bella. You'll miss out on the good stuff." I smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Hey," I whispered, as I pulled away and smirked. "You're getting married today!" Rosalie screamed and jumped to her feet, bouncing up and down on her bed. I laughed, and it didn't hurt.

* * *

Every nerve that my body possessed was tingling with anticipation. The wedding ceremony was short and sweet under the pavilion on the beach. It was almost twilight, and Emmett had just kissed his bride. I cried tears of joy and watched my best friend walk back down the aisle with her new husband.

I dried my face and cheered along with the rest of the guests. The wedding was low key, which I never thought Rosalie would be fine with; but, Emmett was almost her polar opposite, and asked for something smaller. She gave it to him without a blink. I collected my bouquet and followed them down the aisle, still searching for Edward as discreetly as I could.

Would he even come? My heart churned. I needed to find him. He needed to know how wrong I had been and how much I wanted him.

* * *

A couple of hours later, I was surrounded by loud drunk people dancing beneath hundreds of white Christmas lights. I laughed as Rosalie tripped and Emmett caught her a dozen times over as they tried to danced. I kicked my sandals off and shoved them beneath the table. My long deep purple chiffon dress blew slightly from the ocean breeze.

Edward wasn't here, and I couldn't leave to find him yet. He must have changed his mind about us: about the three of us. I absently placed a hand over my stomach and drank some punch. I let my mind wander back to all of the times I saw Edward smile.

Suddenly, an old familiar song began to play. I saw Rosalie's parents begin to dance and a small tear left my eye unnoticed as I watched them dance next to Rose and Emmett. I would have that one day. I could hope for it again, but I never truly had it at all, and I was ready to accept that now.

My heart sped up at the sight of copper hair, but then I lost it in the crowd almost as soon as I saw it. I stood up and searched frantically. Then, I saw him walking towards me. He was smiling, but it was faint. My heart swelled up, and I nodded my head to him. I turned and walked towards the sand.

"Bella," he said. I smiled, and let my mouth fall a little before I turned around to face him.

"I'm sorry," we both said. I giggled and Edward ran a hand through his hair. His khaki, linen pants were rolled up to the ankles and he wasn't wearing shoes. I mentally began to thank Rose for the 'No Shoes' rule.

"No, I'm sorry," I said before he could speak again. "I acted so terribly, and I'm sorry for pushing you away, and for hurting you," I cracked. He smiled warmly.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you the other night. I was such a prick." I waved a hand in the air dismissing him.

"I deserved it."

"No woman deserves to be talked down to. And," he cut off, looking down to my swollen belly. He stepped closer tentatively. "May I?" he asked. I nodded. Edward placed one of his long hands over my pregnant stomach. I sighed a breath of relief at his touch.

"A miracle," I whispered. His green eyes snapped up to look at me. They were hazy with moisture. After a moment, he sighed and removed his hand.

"I would like to propose something," he began, clearing his throat. I frowned. "Would you have dinner with me tomorrow?" I hesitated briefly, then nodded profusely. "We should talk, and get to know each other."

"Yes," I agreed. "I'm really glad you called Emmett." Edward smiled warmly at me.

"So am I."

* * *

Suddenly, the time came to catch Rosalie's bouquet, but no one had to. It was such a small wedding, so she gave it to me after she changed clothes. I was hugging her neck, and never wanting to let go.

"Well?" she whispered.

"It's okay. It's all good," I joked. Rosalie squeaked and hugged me tighter. "We're getting to know each other. He asked me out on a date!" I giggled.

"I'm so happy for you, babe."

"I wouldn't have been able to do it without you," I choked. Rosalie swiped my tears away and smiled proudly.

"I'll be back in two weeks," she promised.

"I can't wait." Rosalie winked at me. I laughed, and hugged her once more. Over her shoulder I could see Emmett and Edward shaking hands firmly while laughing, too.

We sent the newlyweds off on their honeymoon, but no one else left. Everyone kept dancing and drinking. As I came out of the bathroom, I saw Edward in the middle of the dance floor waiting with an extended hand. I blushed, but didn't hesitate to skip over to him. He took my hand, and placed his other on the small of my back as he pulled me closer to him. We laughed and looked down to my stomach.

"I'll have to get used to this," he teased. I smacked his shoulder playfully. When a new song began to play, my heart lifted.

"I love this song," we both said. Edward laughed at my heated cheeks.

_Every time I look into your lovely eyes,  
I see a love that money just can't buy.  
One look from you, I drift away.  
I pray that you are here to stay._

_Every time I hold you I begin to understand,  
Everything about you tells me I'm your man.  
I live my life to be with you.  
No one can do the things you do._

It somehow all made sense, because I was ready to give myself to someone else again. This time, it would be someone who deserved it, and someone who returned the grand gesture. Edward laughed happily as he spun me around the dance floor singing the lyrics that spoke to my heart. I joined in with him.

_Anything you want, you got it.  
Anything you need, you got it.  
Anything at all, you got it._

I laughed joyously and saw the look in my eyes mirrored back at me in Edward's. He pulled me tightly to his chest, our baby between us, and kissed my neck. I was ready for a new start, and couldn't wait to see where we could go.

* * *

I was well into my twenties, but felt like a teenager again on her first date. It took me over an hour to get ready since Rosalie wasn't here to dress me. I eventually decided on jeans, a navy maternity sweater, and curled my long hair. Afterall, we were only going to The Shack, which I was grateful for. Edward showed at the doorstep of the boutique with a bouquet of yellow roses. I smiled shyly and took them.

"Yellow?" I noted out loud.

"They signify friendship, and before we did or became more, I considered you my friend. A true friend," he added hastily. My face heated, and I leaned up to kiss his cheek. Edward turned his head, and his lips met mine. It was brief, but a shock zapped through me like lightening.

"Sorry," he stumbled. I giggled.

"I'm not," I admitted quietly. Edward smiled, and after I placed my roses on the desk, he offered me his arm. I slipped mine through his, and we left for The Shack.

* * *

My favorite restaurant wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be, but I wasn't complaining. It was kind of quiet, and the deck was closed due to the coming winter. We were seated at a table overlooking the ocean, and ordered drinks. Edward folded his hands on top of the table nervously.

"So, when do you find out the sex?"

"At the end of the week," I replied with a smile.

"Do you have a preference?"

"Boy or girl, I'll be happy. But I would like a boy."

"I don't know..." Edward said with a smirk. "I hope it's a girl." He sipped his Dr. Pepper. "Can I come? To the appointment?" I smiled and nodded briskly.

"Did you stop smoking?" I asked, remembering that I hadn't seen him smoke yet. Edward's cheeks heated. He lifted up his left shirt sleeve. I smiled at the nicotine patch.

"Good for you!" I cheered. An awkward silence slowly spread between us. I sipped my water and decided to start at the beginning like we had planned.

"I want to apologize again for the way I treated you," I said quietly. "I wish I hadn't ignored you." Edward shook his head at me.

"I should have left you alone. Everyone grieves differently."

"But it must have been important..." I furthered. Edward shrugged and bowed his head.

"I was afraid of losing you, too. I didn't do very well being alone, but these past few months really helped me."

"I'm glad. I think I ignored you to prevent even the chance of me losing you." Edward smiled softly.

"You won't lose me," he assured.

"And you won't lose me," I promised. Edward reached his hand across the table. I took it, and grasped it firmly.

"So, do you like Virginia?" I asked. Edward nodded.

"I do. It's beautiful, and I didn't realize how much I had missed the mountains. It's helped a lot with my painting."

"That's great. I'm glad you're painting. I'm waiting to hear back from a publisher."

"I knew you could do it." Edward smiled proudly, and I blushed. Our food came, and I finished my salad in record time. Edward picked at his chicken, but stayed quiet.

"I hope I'm not being too blunt with this, and I know this isn't exactly how we planned on being together, if together at all, but I want you. I want us. And I know that we would be great together."

"I want that, too," I whispered immediately. I took a deep breath. "And I want to come to Virginia. We can start over, get to know each other, and be a family."

"But, your life is here," he said.

"My life is anywhere I make it. I can write there, and I want to be near you...and your family." Edward smiled showing his brilliant teeth, and gripped my hand tighter.

* * *

_Four months later..._

"Is that the last box?" I ask lazily as I peek up at Edward from the couch. He nods and walks to the kitchen.

"I'm going to have to teach you how to cook," he said with a smirk. I sat up slowly.

"I can cook!" I defended. He snorted.

"You mean, Bethany could cook. Oh, and I can cook." I shrugged.

"Okay, so it's not my forte, but I can decorate! And clean..." I trailed off. "Hmm, you're getting the shitty end of the stick aren't you?" I giggled. Edward walked over to me.

"No swearing in front of the baby," he scolded playfully. I rolled my eyes and looked down to my huge belly. Edward rubbed it softly and smiled.

"Little E is going to love it here," I said. Edward offered me his hands to help me off of the couch. I wobbled unsteadily. "So," I hedged further, "now can I see the baby room?" I begged. Edward smiled widely and nodded.

He walked us up the stairs of the large cabin and down the hall to the third door on the left. He hesitated by the door.

"If you don't like it, I can re-paint," he assured. I smacked his arm.

"I'm going to love it. Just show me!" He chuckled and slowly opened the wooden door. All of the air left my lungs in one big swoosh. I was taken aback as I stepped onto the beach. Hand painted along the walls was the Atlantic shore line; my ocean. The skies were light blue with seagulls and white, fluffy clouds.

"It's beautiful," I gasped. "Edward," I stopped, choking on tears. "I love it." I turned to face him and swiped my face.

"I thought we could decorate it together in these last couple of weeks before Little E comes." I nodded briskly and threw myself into his arms. I kissed his neck, and had never felt such gratitude for his painting skills.

He held me for a while, and finished showing me the room before suggesting dinner. We had picked up Chinese and decided to eat on the back porch around the built in fire pit. It was winter, but the cold didn't phase me since I was always so hot now. My pregnancy had been relatively easy, and my due date was fast approaching. Edward wanted us together in the same house when Little E came along, and I was glad.

I had enjoyed my little apartment downtown, but now I could be with him every day. We took things slowly over the past months, getting to know each other; and the more we learned, the more in love we fell. We should have done the right thing from the beginning, taken things slow, but I wouldn't change anything now. We were happy. Sex didn't happen often now that I was so pregnant, but it didn't bother either of us. Edward said that we had the rest of our lives for each other, and he was right.

We spoke of marriage, but neither of us viewed it as an objective. Being together and committed was enough for us. I looked out onto the property in the Appalachians once more and smiled deeply. Edward's home was perfect. He painted from home, and I wrote. My first novel had done extremely well, and I was working on my second. Billy helped immensely, and he promised to visit again in the spring.

Edward's parents welcomed me with open arms, and I couldn't have been luckier. Our child would grow up with grandparents, animals, art, and us teaching it all we knew about life.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked.

"Us," I replied wistfully. "I love it here, and I can't wait for the future." Edward smiled warmly and kissed my hand. "Can we stay here forever?"

"Anything you want," he assured. I giggled.

"No, really," I added. "It's all so perfect. I've never been so comfortable in my own skin before, nor felt as loved as I do now. Thank you."

"Thank you," he said.

"What for?"

"Your heart. When it pieced with mine, it wasn't shattered anymore." I smiled and tried to suppress more tears. He reached under the table and removed a small white box. "For us," he said, handing me the square parcel. I frowned curiously, then looked down to the white box and smiled giddily. After removing the lid, I gasped at the sight of a small glass baby shoe. Tears returned to my cheeks, and my heart pumped faster. I picked up the shoe, and read the engraving on the side aloud.

"First it was just us two, then we had you, now we have everything." I choked on my words as I leaned into Edward. His green eyes had never been so bright before. I held the shoe to my heart.

"I love you," I whispered.

"As I Iove you," he replied, placing a hand over my belly. "And our baby, Ella."

I placed my hand over his, and closed my eyes. I thanked God, Edward, then thanked myself for finally doing the right thing. How I had lived so long without him was beyond me, but we didn't have to live in the past any longer. It was the three of us against the world, and we would always be together. We let the happiness in our hearts overwhelm us.

Our shattered hearts, now in three pieces, mended together as one.

_-The End_

* * *

_**Song is, You Got It, by Roy Orbison :)**_

_**Finally, right?**_

_**I'm sorry for your wait! There have been a lot of real life challenges going on for everyone involved with posting, etc, but here it is!**_

_**I hope you enjoyed the ride, and thank you for all**_

_**of your love and support!**_

_**I can't say when my next story will be posted, but I sure hope you add me to your author follows. I recently found out that I am pregnant with my 2nd, and still agonizing over the all day sickness. -_-**_

_**I'll have another epic story in the future.**_

_**Thank you Beffers for your relentless support in ideas and encouragement! And Jules, you make me sound 10x better than anyone else ever could with your tweaks and sweet self. I love and appreciate you both so much!**_

_**Until the next one,**_

_**xx**_

_**Greye**_


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